Even Roses Have Thorns
by tlm1633
Summary: It was a simple mission. Go in and bring Logan back home. I should have known nothing in life was simple. Especially when a certain brown eyed Merc with the Mouth was involved. Wade/OC
1. Chapter 1

I was my father's most treasured possession- keyword _possession_- I was never really his daughter. I was a mere prize he received and loved to show off. He chiseled and molded me to be a perfect little girl to add to his perfect little life. I should have known my dad never really loved, getting whipped by his belt until my whole back went numb for missing my piano lesson should have been a clue, but what little girl doesn't idolize her father? He would say "Anna, being my daughter is not a right – it is a privilege" Though back then I didn't know what it meant exactly , only that I had to work my hardest so that daddy could love me.

And let me tell you, being my father's perfect little girl was beyond hard. Sure I had more porcelain dolls than I could count and instead of receiving a doll house for my 5th birthday I got a pony and diamond earrings. But I wasn't allowed to play with other kids, I divided my time between a strict academic and etiquette curriculum, and hug or a kiss were as rare as a lunar eclipse. But it was my life , it was all I had. And it all came crashing down in one afternoon.

The day started like any other day, I was in the middle of a lesson when I began to get a headache. At first it was alight buzzing in my mind but after a few minutes it felt like someone was drilling into my head. My tutor began to talk to me but I couldn't concentrate. It hurt so much. I barely notice my father coming into my room. My tutor was talking and my dad was yelling and this excruciating headache was getting worse.

So I snapped.

One moment I had a headache and the next my mind was clear……and both my father and my tutor were thrown unconscious across the room.

That was the day I went from being my father's prized possession to damaged good.

**Like it so far? Please review! Thank you ******


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own X-men or anything related to it. I only own the character Anna lol**

I went from being an overly sheltered and controlled 13 year old to a scared and abandoned 13 year old. I spent the next few weeks going from place to place craving safety and a decent meal.

There were things that you needed learn as a runaway in order to survive and those few weeks I as a runaway I learned the hard way. One thing was that being a beautiful girl that physically blossomed a little too soon was indeed not a gift as so many people saw it as – rather it was a curse.

The night was chilly and my stomach growled like a pitbull.

"You sound like you could use something to eat" a man late in his thirties with thinning hair and a pot belly said as he approached the bench I was sitting on.

"I'm ok" I squeaked out

"Well your stomach says something else , I could take you home and make you my world famous pasta"

The mention of pasta sent my stomach into another fit of angry growls

"No thank you sir, really I'm fine" I tried to believe my own lie

"You know a pretty girl like you shouldn't be all alone in the middle of the night, let me take you to my house where you can be safe" the man said as he sat closer to me a put his hand on my shoulder

I shrugged his hand away and started to walk away. I felt the man begin to walk behind me so I quickened my pace but unfortunately so did he.

He grabbed my hair.

Second thing about being a runaway was having long blonde hair brought unwanted attention and gave you a disadvantage as I currently realized

And then pushed me down on the ground

"You see you can never be nice in today's society. No one ever appreciates good manners and decency no more " A headache began to creep its way into my head and an image not my own flashed into my mind. A look into the man's eyes and I knew it was his. This man wanted to hurt me. I couldn't let it happen!

My headache got worse. I gathered all the pain I was feeling and focused it all to the man standing in front of me.

The man was lifted unto the air and his eyes began to bulge. I kept on focusing my mind and my pain unto him. He began gasping for air and thrashing around, gripping at empty air. But I couldn't stop. I wanted to, I really did! But I couldn't. It was like I was stuck and I couldn't pull away. It wasn't until the man laid limp in the air that I was able to snap back to reality. The man fell roughly unto the concrete floor.

I sat there crying my eyes out and looking at his lifeless bodies for hours. What kind of monster was I? What was wrong with me? I was there - I witnessed everything that happened but I couldn't understand. I didn't want to understand.

The sun started to rise and I ran. I ran and I ran and I ran. I didn't stop until blood soaked my shoes from the brutality my feet endured.

I slid down the wall on an alley, curled my knees up and laid my head on them. My eyes caught sight of a dirty newspaper. The front page had a picture of a group of people protesting something. The headline said "Mutants: Modern day plague"

Mutants? Images of my father's disgusted face as he threw me out of the house flashed in my head. So my father's sudden hatred towards me and the fact that I just ruthlessly killed a man without even meaning to was all due to me being a mutant?

I was suddenly really angry. All this was happening to be because I was born differently? I didn't ask for this. I don't want this!

Ignoring the searing pain coursing through my feet, I tried to get up but stumbled and sliced my hand on a broken bottle on the floor. Successfully getting up this time , I began to walk around trying to find a place relatively safe to stay the night.

I had no idea where I was only that there were bars everywhere. I walked into one that I found was less intimidating looking than the rest. I had about three dollars on me. I could buy some nuts and water and stay in this bar for as long as I can.

Walking in a stench of alcohol, smoke, and a strange sweat type odor invaded my senses. I sat down on a stool.

That's when I noticed him.

He was big and muscular -drinking scotch and smoking a tobacco. He had brown shaggy wild hair and had an almost permanent snarl attached to his face. His dog tags glistering off his leather jacket.

I was spellbound.

To most he might have seemed threatening but to me he seemed like those majestic wolves you see on the on T.V that protect their pack with all their might. I don't know what made me instantly want to be around this person but I did. Call it my spidey sense.

He turned his attention from his scotch to me. Lifted one eyebrow and sniffed the air. I quickly looked down at my hands.

"Hey kid, are you okay?" The wolf man asked me

I opened my mouth to say something but words never came. I mean how could I possibly answer that? No sir I am not okay , I am the farthest thing from okay. I got thrown out of my house , killed a man , and found out I was a mutant.

Shaking my head I simply said "not really"

He looked down at my hand and looked at me worriedly "Kid, where are your parents?"

I sighed and my eyes began to tear up. "I'm a mutant" As if that simple statement would have explained everything.

Yet strangely enough he didn't ask me anymore question.

Just stayed sitting next to me.

Ordered a sandwich and coke for me.

And changed my life forever.

**Hopefully you like it so far! Wade will be coming in maybe in the next chapter or the next one after that . I just wanted to establish Logan and Anna's relationship and why he means so much to her. And why she is going to do the things she's going to do in order to save Logan. P.S Reviews are better than gold ;P**


	3. Chapter 3

'Anna, would you please come down to my office' Professor Xavier said to me telepathically 'Yes professor, I'll be there in a minute'

Getting up from my bed I went over to my mirror. I've come a long way in seven years. That lost little girl was almost entirely erased from me. Standing at 5 foot 7 with my blonde hair reaching to my mid back and a matured body with all the right curves – It was safe to say I grew up. But I not only changed physically but emotionally. A year after I met Logan , Professor Xavier found us. The professor gave Logan and I a chance to live a normal life. I was given a home, an education, and a family. I found my voice- my confidence. Logan didn't stay long; he said that he just wasn't the type to settle down in one place. He always came back though. I always got a call at least twice a month and a visit every two months. Sometimes he would stay for just a few days and other times he would stay for a couple of months. But he was always there for me. And no matter what, if he got a call from me asking him to come back for whatever reason; He would be there at the Mansions doorstep a day later- two days tops.

Looking at my reflection again I noticed how tired and worn out I looked. Logan left six months ago. Six months without a call. Six months without even a word from him. And I haven't stopped telepathically looking for him after the second month. I didn't have the control the professor or Jean had. To use my powers so continuously and without stop wears me out so much. I collapsed from exhaustion at least three times in the last four months and blew out all the bulbs of the mansion about six times. Even though I learned to carefully control my powers, there were times they were just simply unpredictable.

Walking through the halls I dodge a horde of students running down to the cafeteria for lunch. I smiled. I loved this school with every fiber of my being. I loved being a student here, and now I love being a teacher. After I turned 19 I was given the choice of moving on or staying at the school to be part of the X-Men. And without a single doubt I stayed.

I knocked on the professor's door.

"Anna, please do come in"

Walking in I saw that Scott was there too

"Did you find out anything about Logan professor?"

"I received a tip that might lead to Logan's whereabouts" Finally we're getting somewhere!

"Great! Let me just change my clothes and I'll get the car ready"

The professor and Scott exchanged a look. "Anna , Scott and Strom are going to see if the tip leads anywhere. I am asking you to sit this one out"

"Professor with all due respect, I can't just stay here and do nothing while Logan could be out there needing my help"

"I understand my dear. But you are mentally exhausted. You need to rest so if we do find out a clue as to where Logan is you can be on your best game to go and get him"

Professor Xavier is the most logical and wisest person I have ever met in my life. There was no question he couldn't answer or no problem he couldn't solve. I had no choice but to agree.

"Scott , I know Logan and you are aren't the best of friends , but can you try your best on this assignment?"

"I might not necessarily like the guy but you know I would never let you down. He means a lot to you and that all I need to know" I gave Scott a gentle smile. There was nothing Scott wouldn't do for the Professor or the people he cared about. Even if it meant bringing home the guy that constantly flirts with his fiancé and constantly makes fun of him.

"Thank you Scotty bear "He laughs as I use the nickname I made up for him. "Good luck"

"Professor will you tell me moment you find anything out?"

"Of course, now please go and get some overdue sleep"

"Will do"

Walking out a small dread forms in the pit of my stomach. Something just wasn't right.


	4. Chapter 4

Waking up I noticed the clock on my wall, it was it was 9 pm. I was supposed to take a light nap but I ended up sleeping for 9 hours. I was more tired than I realized. 'Good you are awake, please come to my office. Scott and Strom found essential information' without even responding to the professor, I jumped out of bed, put my robe on, and ran downstairs.

"Professor? Did they find out where Logan is?" Hope filled my heart

"Yes , yes they did. But it is not as simple as going over there and getting him Anna" the professor carefully explained

With fear in my voice I asked "Is he…I mean he's okay right?"

With gentle eyes the professor continued "He is physically alright but he's mental state is a delicate situation" pausing to let what he just said sink in , I gave him a nod to continue "The reason we weren't able to find Logan before was because we were using the connections we have to him to reach out to him. But it seems his mind has been swiped clean"

I gasped "How is that possible?"

"I am not exactly sure myself but unfortunately that's not the only reason why this situation is so complex"

Sulking into my chair I prepared for what could be worse than having Logan's mind be swiped

"It seems before you met him, Logan was part of a special military team. For unknown reasons he left and they have been looking for him but hadn't been able to place him until now. They took him in and that is when the mind warp of sorts was done to him. I am not sure to what extent Logan's min has been altered but it was altered enough to remove anything there was about us. So a presumably seven years have been cut"

I just sat there. In utter shock. He was being hunted down by the government and I was selfish enough to make him come back to the mansion time and time again. I made him a sitting duck for those people. My fingers were numb from how hard I was gripping my chair

"What do I need to do to get him out of there?

"We have to go about this in a very inconspicuous manner. This isn't an extremist group we can just take done. We have to be smart about the way we handle the situation "I sucked in a gulp of air

"I won't do anything without your approval professor, I promise" the creases in the professor's forehead crinkled. He was so deep in thought, that when he finally spoke I slightly jumped

"Scott, jean, Storm and I were talking about this while you were asleep. We did come up with a plan but it is too risky for any of us to feel comfortable about it" Rubbing his temples he began telling me the plan "We were thinking of sending in either Jean or you undercover to join the special team. You must gain as much information as you can while you also try to decipher Logan's mind and get his memories to resurface. It has to be either Jean or you for that reason. This mission is terribly risky and it might take a while and it is not fool proof by any means. There is no clear way of going about it. You are going in there blind with only the bits of information we have" I have heard enough. The professor looks down knowing full well what I am about to say

"I am going. And I'm leaving as soon as possible"

**Ok so dum dum dummm Wade is going to be in the next chapter! So reviews please! Reviews make me just about as happy as seeing Ryan Reynolds shirtless so please review! ;D**


	5. Chapter 5

With my heart brutally beating against my chest I waited in the dark shady motel room I was currently staying at. The professor created a whole new alias for me. I was still Anna Miller, expect now I was a dangerous mutant thief who stole fifty thousand dollars worth of diamonds a week ago days ago and was wanted by the cops across the States. It was a set up to get Stryker interest in my profile and offer me an opportunity to join his "special team". And apparently it is working because there has been several inquiries about me from the Government. Everything was going according to plan. And it scared the hell out of me. Like seven year's worth of self therapy was thrown out the window and I was that scared and pathetic little girl again. No. I refuse. Even though I was throwing myself into the lion's den, I was doing it willingly. I was still in control.

Pushing all thoughts out of my head I got up and poured myself some cheap whiskey. I usually didn't drink alcohol; it was a taste I never really acquired. But at this point I would gladly drink it if it had even a minor chance of shedding my looming insecurities. I had to be strong for Logan. He was the only one that ever gave a shit. And there was no way I was going to disappoint him when he needed me most just because I was so fucked up.

A knocking at my door shook me out of my self-loathing. My throat clenched. This was it.

Opening the door a man dressed in a military attire and a tall Asian man stood in my door way. I know I should have technically been apprehensive of the Asian man who was wielding various guns but my anxiety was solely focused on the older military man. His presence brought a deep wave of alarm in me. He was so perfectly dressed and so perfectly poised. I learned long ago that the more perfect a person seems, the more you should be wary of them. Perfection only leads to destruction.

"Anna Miller?" His voice dripping with undetectable venom

"Who the fuck are you?" I had to act as tough as I could otherwise my fear and trepidation will slip right threw

Grinning just like a hyena would as it approached its prey he answered "I am William Stryker and I have a proposition for you"

"Whatever you're selling, I'm not buying. Now leave before I make you leave" The Asian's hands inched closer to his guns

"What if I told you that with my help you could be free? Free of any wrong doing you have done. Never having to run again. Never having to worry that you might be found and get thrown in a dark jail for the rest of your life?" The snake offering me the forbidden apple.

"You mean have my record cleared? How would you be able to do that? Who exactly are you?"

"I work for the Government Ms. Miller and I can have your past erased with a single order" I wondered if he gave as empty of promises as this one to the rest of his team in order to have them join.

"And what would I have to do to make that happen?"

There he goes smiling his hyena smile again "Simply by serving your country Ms. Miller"

Then again, in the land of predators the Lion never fears the Hyena. Let's just hope I stay the lion in this situation.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Four hours later we arrived at a military base, a dense forest surrounding it. My high heels clinking as it hit the cold hard cement with each step I took. I thought the outside look dreary but comparing it to the inside it looked like Disneyland. Grey walls lined the long narrow hallways. Cameras strategically placed in every corner. Metal doors decorating each room. Cold and grim just like a morgue.

Turning yet another corner we stopped in front of two double metal door.

"Ms. Miller meet you're new team"

Walking in I felt like someone just knock the breath out of me. Six tall very powerfully built and intimidating men stood in front of me. My eyes locked with one in particular. Logan. I took a deep breath. How I wanted to run up to him and just throw him over my shoulder and leave. Never too look back again.

"Men, this is Anna Miller- she will be joining us as a new member of the team" Stryker introduced

"Well it was about damn time some estrogen was added in this dump. I am sick of having to look over my shoulder every time I drop the soap in the shower" One of them said. Snapping me out of my contemplating of how exactly I would be able to knock Logan out and carry all his 300 plus pound, 6 foot frame out of here. Pushing my blonde hair out of my eyes I took a better look at the man that just spoke. He was taller than Logan and had brown neatly combed hair. His eyes shined brightly with mischief. He was nicely tanned and muscular. Two swords were strapped on his broad back. My stomach did flips.

"Wade Wilson at your service; day or night. Especially at night" he said with a wink and a heart melting smile

"Wilson! You will respect your new teammate" Stryker said with his eyes narrowing at the man, Wade his name was.

"Ms. Miller to Wilson's right is John Wraith"

"Pleasure to meet you Miss" John said while tipping his cowboy hat

"Then next to him is Fred Dukes" He was huge! Peter Rasputin wasn't even half as big as this guy was

"Hi" He said in a southern drawl

"That is Christopher Bradley" A small timid man gave a small wave to me. Standing next to Fred, he was barely noticeable

"The man in the corner is Victor Creed" He gave me a predatory smile. An alarm went off in my mind. He radiated off a sense of brutish ferocity; more animal than man. My spidey sense was tingling, but it was a complete opposite was when I first met Logan. My senses told me to run away as far as I could from this man.

"You already met David North"

And just when I thought I had enough surprises, the next sentence that Stryker utter sent me into a fit of shock.

Pointing to Logan he said "And that over there is his brother James Howlett"

I had to calmly collect my thoughts before I start to scream and revaluate the whole forcefully carrying Logan out of this place plan. Ok, let me evaluate my situation. I am in a highly secure military base, surrounded by seven well trained men who are currently looking as if they hadn't eaten in years and I was a big juicy stake, and I just found out Logan- whose real name is James Howlett- has a- potentially psychotic- brother.

Oh ok good. For a minute there I thought I was screwed. When in reality I was just royally screwed.

Sometimes I really love my life.

**Hope you liked this chapter! Please reviews, reviews make me very happy and a very happy me updates super fast and adds hot wade scenes ;D **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! I know some of you were concerned regarding my grammar mistakes and short chapters and I'm super sorry! But my keyboard from me home computer broke so whenever I have a time between classes I go to the computer lab and try to write a new chapter as fast as I can. I have like 30-40 minutes to do a chapter so I don't really have time to go thru and edit. I really hope it doesn't make my story unbearable to read! I'll try to do my best to avoid anymore typos. Anyways Enjoy!**

I came into this mission fully knowing Logan wouldn't recognize me, but I wasn't as prepared as I thought. It hurt to see how indifferent he was towards me. I got more of a response for these strangers than I did from him. He merely just grunted my way and then left the room. It made me feel so incredibly lonely. I mean how would you feel if the person that meant most to you suddenly saw you as a stranger? Deep down inside I was hoping that the instant he saw me all would come rushing back to him and all would be right in the world. Yet all I got was a grunt. I was foolish enough to hope that the universe would all of a sudden turn the odds in my favor. Nothing was ever easy. Even when I arrived in the mansion, I had to jump thru fiery hoops just to fit in. It took a long time to get the students to trust me. I didn't blame them though. I understood why they kept their distance from me; having your personal things blown up in the middle of the night just because I had a nightmare did tend to make a person weary of me. I remember one night I had a particular hellish dream, I woke up to screaming, screams that were not my own. I opened the door to my room and saw one of the students with a piece of metal in his chest- missed his heart by a few inches. Apparently while I was dreaming, I used my mind to throw any objects near me as daggers. That's defiantly made me mutant of the year.

"Ms. Miller would you please come to my office" Stryker said thru the loud speaker located on my wall next to a security camera. Well hello Big Brother.

Go straight ahead , turn left , then another left , then a right……..Where the hell was I?!

"You lost Goldie Locks?" Logan's manly voice rang behind me

I smiled "Um yea I kind of am. Do you know where Stryker's office is?"

Logan started walking and after several seconds of standing stupidly looking at his back, I realized he was going to show me the way. Jogging a few steps I caught up to him.

As we reached Stryker's office I noted to myself- three lefts no rights. This place should have signs or markings of sorts! I hate being directionally impaired.

"Thanks Lo…James"

"Hpmf" Another grunt. When I bring back his memories I am going to have a long hard talk to him about all the grunting.

Knock knock. "Come in"

"You wanted to see me Sir?" I can't believe I had to call this dirtbag sir.

Without even looking up from his paperwork he responded "Ms. Miller you will started you training tomorrow at 0500 , Wilson will be your training partner. You're a telepath correct?"

I nodded my head yes

"You will not be allowed to use your mutation at your training sessions. And I see you've noticed you are the only female in this team"

I rolled my eyes, no shit Sherlock I hardly noticed.

"I suggest if you engage in any sexual activity to use protection. We wouldn't want to waste the military resources to extract an accident you happen you make"

The meaning of his words slowly sank in. Pure and utter disgust rose within. His lack of human sympathy made be both angry and scared.

"You know Sir" I laced each word with venom "You remind me of my father"

A conceited and egotistical look entered his face

"I absolutely hate my father" I spat out without even turning to look at him

Fuming I walked back to my room. I replaced one monster in my life with another. A growl escaped my stomach. In the last two day all I've eaten was whatever the vending machine in the motel had. Even though my stomach protested, I wasn't sure I wanted to go to the kitchen and encounter the men of my new team. But then again I couldn't hide in my room forever and I was really hungry. What the hell better get the awkwardness out of the way sooner rather than later.

Turn right, then another right, two lefts and there I was. The kitchen. With all the men there. Story of my life. Logan was sitting drinking a beer. Chris and John were in the far corner of the room eating, Victor was standing just creepily staring at me , and Wade…

"Well hello gorgeous" was next to me.

I ignored him and went to the fridge, meat, meat, and more meat. Telepathically, I opened the cupboards and took out a power bar, an apple, and some crackers.

"No wonder you blew my mind, you're a telepath. But I bet you are much better at blowing other thin…. What the fuck!" Wade didn't get a chance to finish his sentence before I lifted him up in the air

"I could just snap your neck with a flick of my wrist. I want you to remember that next time you decide to speak me with me…which I hope isn't anytime soon" I warned

A deep throaty laugh vibrated thru the room. "Give it up Wade, sexy little Miller here needs a real man" Victor arrogantly said

I put Wade down. "Sorry Victor but I only date within my species" I countered back. Now it was Wade's turn to give a long laugh

"Woman where have you been all my life!" exclaimed Wade, but I didn't dare turn around and just walked back to my room. A deep red blush rose from my neck to my checks.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Putting on red shorts, a red and gray sports bra, and putting my hair up in a ponytail I was ready to go train. I wasn't too worried about the training sessions; I mean I train with the other X-men four times a week in the danger room. But what I was worried about was the fact that my training partner was Wade. That arrogant, perverted, delicious …..wait did I just think delicious?! I blame the momentary lapse of sanity on the fact that I was awake at such an absurd time. Why couldn't training be at around noon?

Apparently it wasn't so absurd to the rest of the team because I was the last one to arrive. Everyone was already in their designated areas , Logan was sparring with Victor and it looked like he was kicking butt. Every time I see Logan all I want to do is run up to him a hug him. But I had to avoid any slips. This was a delicate mission and I had to avoid as much contact with Logan as possible, he needs to be as much of a stranger to me as I am to him. Looking to the side, I stopped breathing.

.God. Breath Anna just breath and pretend like you don't want to jump Wade's bones right now. Wade was shirtless , with sweat dripping down his neck and unto his well toned chest and stomach. His hair a bit of a mess from training. His body expertly moved, swigging his sword-his muscles contracting. More sweat drips down and I follow the drop with my eyes. Going down his washboard abs all the way lower down the beginning of his pelvis

"About time you showed up sweet cheeks" My eyes snapped up to his face "Ready to train?"

Clearing my throat and pushing all thought from my head, I responded "Sure. Let's get it over with"

"Well since you aren't allowed to use your powers, I won't use my swords. Let's see how good you are at hand to hand combat"

Wade starts running my way, he tries to jab me with his elbow but I block him. He swings his legs to knock me down but I jump and kick him in the torso, he barely stumbles. He then kicks my knee in -I wince in pain. I wrap my foot around his and drop him to the floor all in the while grabbing his wrist and pushing him down. I use my legs to lock his and my hand to restrain his.

"Well babe if you wanted to be on top all you had to do was ask" I began to blush , the momentary distraction gives Wade a chance to buckle from under me , flip me over, and do what I just did to him. Though this time he jabs his pelvis unto mine to securely keep me in place and not be able to escape. Let's just say , the color of my shorts were probably lighter than the color of my face at the moment.

I have been surrounded by very good looking men at the mansion for the last seven years. And yes I've had crushes on them. But I have never felt this type of attraction before. It's like Wade touches me and I'm on fire.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Two and a half hours later of training and I felt beyond sore. I took one nice long hot shower and got dressed in a tank and pajama pants. I moved to sit on my bed , crossing my legs I began my mantra. Breath in and out, block all other thoughts from my mind , and leave just one opening. Logan.

I feel my back arch. One swift jab of pain enters my mind. People usually think that entering someone's mind was as easy as snapping your finger. It takes a lot of concentration and control. And it hurts.

I begin entering Logan's mind little by little till the connection snap firmly into place. Whenever you try to mentally connect with someone it is essential to have that person as near you as you can and if possible, have that person touch you. But since both of those essential guidelines are not possible in this situation, I have to wait till Logan is asleep- as he currently is- so that his mind could be more accepting to my invasion.

I frown. It's like a labyrinth. A person mind is usually a maze yes but Logan's mind is like King Minos labyrinth. It's crowded but at the same time it's empty. I have never seen something like this before. I fear that his mind has been altered, not by something- but by someone.

A very strong telepath at that.

I am going to be here longer than I thought.

**Please review! Reviews make me extremely happy! And if anyone would like to throw some ideas my way, please do ;) I like listening to what my readers would like to see in my story. Hope you liked the chapter! **


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own X-Men or anything related to it. Enjoy!**

People's minds are like puzzles of sorts with thousand of little pieces scattered around. Some pieces making full pictures, some making semi pictures, and other just floating around. Full pictures are memories you can remember even the smallest detail of , like that special day you went to the beach with friends and you remember the way the breeze blew your hair , how the salt water tasted on your tongue, even how the sun felt on your face. Semi pictures are memories you still remember but the details escape you, like going on your first date and knowing you wore a dress but aren't so sure if it was red or blue and knowing you went to dinner but not remembering which restaurant it was. But the single pieces in people's minds are the most difficult. They are memories that flicker through your mind. Memories you aren't sure if they're real or just something you dreamed about. Memories that frustrate you because they're right there in your mind but you can't grasp it no matter how hard you try. Like a glimpse of something that flashes by so fast that you can never tell what it is.

Well Logan's mind was filled with millions of pieces, being as old as he is, he has more of a memory capacity than the average person. And surprisingly enough most of those pieces come together to form a perfect picture, almost as if he had a photographic memory. But the part that sent me in a fit worry and anxiety was the part that the pictures that formed memories of me and the mansion and everything after he left the team- was broken. Like a telepath got a sledgehammer and shattered every single picture into oblivion. Yes this telepath is powerful but not very experienced. Because he destroyed the memories enough so that I'll have one hell of a time reverting them back to its origins but not enough so that it would be impossible to do so. Now it's just a matter of me piecing the puzzle back together.

And after six hours of nonstop mind invasion, I pasted most of the floating pieces together. Not enough for him to remember everything or to even remember me but enough to make everything clearer. Like the glimpse of that something you couldn't see before suddenly slowed and you can make out an outline and even a few details. As to what the details are, I have no idea. It could be of him remembering what the mansion looks like or that even though he might not know why but him hating the name Scott.

A light buzzing in the back of my head starts, then a slight tug, and then a considerable push. That could only mean one thing- Cerebro.

"_Professor?"_ I questioned

"_Yes Anna, are you alright?"_ a worried professor asked

"_I'm fine" _Even though I wasn't fine emotionally, there was no need to worry the professor more

"_My dear , what have you discovered"_

"_Well Logan has a supposed brother named Victor Creed. And you were right; everything from the last seven years has been erased in his mind. But it is not what we thought. The memory alteration was not caused by a machine or a man made weapon. Rather by man himself. A strong telepath must have gone in and shattered his memories. But he must be a young telepath because he seems to lack the experience on how to actually erase memories. I've been able to revert some of the damage but it will take longer than we thought"_ I explained

A couple seconds went by before the professor spoke again _"I am not comfortable with you being all alone in such a situation. But I know there is no use in trying to persuade you to abort this mission and come home. But if anything goes wrong I want you to send out a stress signal and the X-men will come and get you"_

"_Okay I will"_ I said

"_Anna, promise me"_ The professor said knowing fully well that without Logan I wouldn't go anywhere even if I was in trouble

"_I Promi…."_ A loud knocking abruptly interrupted my connection, sending a jolt of pain through me.

The loud knocking continued

"WHAT!?" I agitatedly screamed

"Well it seems like a certain sexy blonde is defiantly not a morning person" Wade? Morning? "What do you want?" I questioned

"I want many things from you sweet cheeks, but for now Stryker sent me to get you. We have a mission" explained wade through the door

Great just great! I spent all night fixing Logan's mind and now I have a mission. With a sigh I responded "Fine, I'll meet you in the rec room"

"Do you need any help getting dressed" I wonder if it was physically impossible for Wade to get his mind out of the gutter

"Leave!" I heard his laughing as he walked away

Going over to my suitcase I pulled out tight leather black pants, a red tank, a black leather sweater, and my black high heeled boots. Hank McCoy always questioned my choice in fashion when it came to missions. I liked wearing dark clothes so if you bled you didn't stain them, leather because it protects you against harm much better than cotton would, and high heeled boots because a kick with one of these babies and you'll be knocked out cold. My outfits were more of a practicality than anything else really. And it had absolutely nothing to do with Wade and the fact that I caught him thinking on how hot I would look in leather- absolutely not. Nope.

After I got dressed I decided to leave my hair down, I already had a headache and pulling my hair into a ponytail was just going to make it worse.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

While boarding the military plane I unconsciously sat next to Logan. I know I should keep my distance but surely I can allow myself this small gesture of comfort right? Unfortunately though, Wade sat in front of me.

Eyeing me from head to toe Wade said "Do you have any idea how hot you look in leather?" Yes. I mean no! Nope not at all. It's all about practicality

"Ms Anna don't you go paying any attention to what Wade says, it's all a bunch of nonsense anyway" John-who sat next to Wade-said

"Yea. It's like diarrhea of the mouth" Added Dukes

A laugh escaped my lips, these men who I initially thought were a bunch of egotistical psychopaths, weren't so bad. But then again, I thought as I looked at Wade and Victor- who in turn looked at me and licked his lips- some really were egotistical psychopaths

Wade faked a hurt look "Ah baby I thought you were on my side , don't all the time we've spent together mean anything to you"

I rolled my eyes "I've only known you less than two days Wade"

"And those were the best days of my life sweet cheeks"

"Kiss my ass Wade" I was tired and had a headache and Wade's constant banter was getting to me

"I thought you'd never ask, but sweetheart you sure you want to get down and dirty right here in front of everyone? Vicky might get turned on and have his way with me before you would" I had to turn my head to the side and let my hair cover my face because my cheeks were probably burning redder than a boiling lobster.

And before Victor said anything to counter Wade, Logan jumped in and said "Either you shut up willing bub or I'm gonna make you, another word towards the girl and I'm gonna rip your throat out"

A small smile appeared on my face, I felt like I could cry from happiness. Even without remembering me, Logan still felt the need to protect me

"You know Jimmy Bear, your threats would be a lot more menacing if you didn't look green. I bet 20 bucks you throw up on Chris before we land"

I on instinct put my hand on his back and equalized his mental equilibrium. Whenever we flew, Logan stayed close to me knowing I would use my telepathy to make his fear of flying go away.

"Better?" I asked

His lips turning into a small smile "Yea, thanks Goldie locks"

"Hey! How come your nice to him and treat me like crap" Wade questioned with a tiny hint of jealousy lacing his words

But before I answered I noticed Zero. He gave me an icy look full of distrust; I looked into his mind and saw that he held doubt when it came to me. I small panic came over me. I can't afford any slip ups. I was already on Zero's and possibly Stryker's suspicion list. I have to play this immaculately. No room for error.

Thankfully Chris' announcement interrupted the lame excuse I was going to give Wade

"We've landed" Chris said in his soft voice. I felt bad for Chris , it was obvious he didn't belong here. Everyone here was a monster in their own way- including me. But Chris wasn't. He liked to stay behind and help in only the technological way. He didn't even like carrying a gun. After this is all over I'm going to have to talk to the professor about him

"Showtime!" Wade exclaimed

Getting down from the plan instant humidity and heat overflowed me. I took my sweater off and threw it into the plane. I have never been to Uruguay and it was beautiful. Who knew I'd be exploring the world undercover as a dangerous thief with seven other dangerous men who all work for some secret government branch? Oh yea that was defiantly on my to-do list.

"Well well well sweet cheeks I'm touched" Wade said as he slid next to me

"What are you talking about Wade?

"You're wearing my favorite color; you went out of your way to impress me" he added "And I gotta say its working" He told me with a wink

My heart started beating so fast I swear it was going to leap out of my chest.

"Listen up team. We have a simple mission today" Stryker proclaimed as he stepped out of his private jet. We were stuck in a small uncomfortable aircraft and he was flying first class. The more I got to know Stryker the more I disliked him "Anna you will take care of the guards in the front, once she does that Wade and Zero will go in and collect the files that are in the safety deposit. Dukes and John you will secure the back. James and Victor you two will dispose of any other witnesses" I winched

"You mean kill everyone?!" I asked

"Ms. Miller these man are in the drug cartel, they murder and kill children and families that stand in their way. Will you have sympathy for those they lack it the most?" Stryker said trying to convince me. I kept quiet until we reached the area of operations. There were two tanks in the front and about 30 men.

"You're on Ms. Miller" Stryker said. All eyes were on me as they waited to see what I was capable of doing.

"Do you need me to hold your hand doll" Victor's sardonically said

I looked in front of me at those men. I was about to tell Stryker I refused to do it when it happened.

I locked my mind with one of the men. Raids and horrible murders flashed through my mind. Children screaming as their throats were slashed, women how fought with all their might against the men that had their way with them, innocent men protecting their families shot in the head. I couldn't take it anymore.

The feeling of pure unadulterated power and hate flowed through my veins, adrenalin moving through my body. I lifted my hands and they were all lifted in the air, cries of shock and fear rang through the night. I threw the tanks into the distances. Then I began to choke every single one of them. I shifted between hard and painful squeezing to light holds. They were not going to die just yet. They needed to feel the pain all those poor innocent people felt. I sent then a wave of the fear their victims felt unto them. For once I'm not stopping because I can't- but because I don't want to. In one last fit of rage I snapped their necks.

I blinked.

And all hell broke loose within me. I wanted to sob. I wanted a hole on the earth to open up and swallow me. I wanted this to be another one of my nightmares.

I don't know how long I just stood there but before I knew it, everyone was back and gathered around me. Wade, Logan, and John were talking at once to me. Chris and Dukes stood by my side with looks of worry.

I touched my face and my hand came up with blood. There was so much blood coming down my nose. But I didn't care. I just wanted it all to stop.

The next thing I felt were my eyes rolling into the back of my head and the cold hard ground.

Father was right. I was a monster.

**Hope you liked the chapter! Reviews please!!!!!!!**


	8. Chapter 8

Erik Lehnsherr told me once that to live the life of a telepath is to live a life of insanity. I never fully understood the meaning of his words. Until now.

My control over my mutation has always been limited. Nightmares not mine own plagued my dreams nightly and random thoughts of those around me crowded my mind daily. The only moments I had of peace where when I spent hours and hours of meditating trying to block out everything out , only to achieve a few minutes of comfort before someone else' mental energy invaded my senses. Even Jean, who had almost perfect control, lost her restrain every once in a while. And it seemed that her telepathic discipline came at a cost. In one of our therapy sessions I noticed there was something growing deep within her, it was fiery and angry. It scared me to the point that I didn't have another session with her for almost a year. Emma Frost dealt with her extrasensory pain but isolating herself. Some students saw her as evil, cold, and emotionless – little did they know she was just trying to save herself. Even the Professor who never lost his self-control, always connected with those around him, and embraced his telepathy – spends countless nights with insomnia.

Have you ever been in a crowed concert where people are all singing and talking at once, pushing and shoving each other , loud music piercing your eardrums- everything being so overwhelming you can't even hear your own thoughts. Well that's how it is in a telepath's mind. Except you can leave the concert but we can never escape.

Never.

Gasping I woke up to a white room with bright lights. A sound startles me and I instantly throw the chair in front of me across the room at the sound.

"Wow now calm down miss, you're in the clinic at Base" An older woman in a white lab coat said

"What?" I asked confused

"You passed out whi….." I drowned her voice out as the events from the mission flooded my mind. My breath quickens and the heart monitors starts beeping erratically

"I have to go, I have to leave, I can't stay" I rambled on as I yanked the IVs from my arms

"Miss Miss! Please don't do that! Miss!" The woman pleaded with me "Security! The patient is trying to escape" she shouted into the hallway

I swung my feet to the side of the bed but a wave of dizziness washed over me and I began to collapse. Two strong arms wrapped around me.

"I know you're eager to see me and all but you should stay in bed" Wade said, concern lacing his voice

"Wade, let me go, I have to leave" I pleaded, too weak to fight against his hold

"And go where?" his question froze me in place. Go where? I have nowhere to go. I fell limp in his arms. Carrying me bridal style he gently put me in bed.

"You've been out for the past two days sweets, you shouldn't be out of bed yet" Said Wade as he picked up the chair I threw earlier and sat next to me.

We stayed there in silence for almost half an hour. I looked up and he silently sat in his chair watching me. I noticed a couple scars on his shoulder blades.

"You know every scar tells a story" I said as I leaned forward and traced his scars

Leaning forward too, Wade reached over and in the opening of my hospital gown began to trace the scar I had on my back

"And what's your story? He asked

Tears sprinted to my eyes. "A tragedy. Because scars also remind us that our past is real"

Silent tears ran down my face

Walking in the doctor said "Young man, Ms. Miller needs her rest. You'll be able to visit her tomorrow"

Wade took my hand and gave it a small squeeze "Don't miss me too much sweet cheeks" he added" Oh and by the way, Jimmy has been stalking your room since you were brought in , want me to put him down for you?"

I gave Wade a small smile as the doctor injected me. Slowly I began to drift back into oblivion.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Two weeks passed since I was admitted into the clinic. Yes physically I felt alright but emotionally…..emotionally I had no idea how I felt. It's like something broke inside of me and no matter what I do I can't put it back together. The professor contacted me twice using Cerebro and both times I just told him I was fine and broke the connection. I couldn't let the Professor know what I did; he would be so disappointed in me. And I don't think I could be capable of withstanding his disgust towards me. Even I felt disgusted at myself.

Wade and Logan visited me regularly, twice a day every day. Logan would give a small growl when he saw Wade with me and Wade always unsheathed one of his swords when he saw me with Logan. When John brought me a flower or when Dukes snuck me in some chocolate or even when poor Chris was showing me some of his technology trick- both Logan and Wade looked like they were ready to attack. After spending all that time in bed I worked a lot on Logan's mind, all the pieces were coming nicely together. One day he even brought up the fact that he has nightmares too. No one from the base new about that. So I understood why Logan was being protective of me, it was a natural thing since his memories were slowly coming back. But I had no idea why Wade was acting the way he was. I could have simply looked into his mind and found the answer myself, but I was sick and tired of being inside people's heads.

Walking to the kitchen I thought about how unusual Wade seemed. He was still his annoying egotistical self but something was off. He seemed less animated. His perfectly tanned skin was replaced by a whiter less brilliant tone. And bags began to form under his eyes. Maybe I was just thrown off by the way he has been treating me. Even though he threw in a couple perverted comments my way that made me madly blush, most of the time he was just sweet. We talked about the places we've visited, the different people we've met, how much Victor needed a manicure – we joked , we laughed, and at times we just sat in silence together taking in each other's comfort. He carefully avoided any topic that would lead my thoughts into what happened in Uruguay and when my thoughts did lead me to there – he made sure to make me smile. I was so deep in thought I didn't notice Victor next to me until I felt his breath on my ear.

"Victor!" I exclaimed

"Hey there doll" He circled me

"Wh..what do you want?"

"Well" he came closer till he was inches from my face "I want you"

"Either you back off or….."

Cutting me off, he laughingly said "Or what? You're going to torture me and kill me like you did those men in Uruguay?"

At this point I didn't know who I hated more, Stryker or Victor

Anger rose within me "Fuck you!" I quickly walked off to my room before I ended up doing something I will surely regret later

Before I reached my room I bumped into a hard chest

"I was just about to knock on your door gorgeous" Wade charmingly said. But I was too angry to care

Taking my anger out on Wade I shouted "You know, I've known men like you all my life. Power hungry and blood thirsty. Never caring about anyone else but themselves!"

A dark look came over Wade's face and in one swift move he pushed me up against the wall "You know shit about me" he said before releasing me and walking away. A rainfall of guilt drenched me in regret. Wade has been nothing but good to me and I repay him by hurting his feelings. I had to make this right. Going to his room I timidly knocked on his door.

"Wade?" Nothing "Wade, I'm coming in" I twisted the doorknob and went into his room. Wade was sitting on his bed sharpening his swords. I gently sat on the bed

"I shouldn't have said that to you Wade. It wasn't right." He didn't answer just kept working on his swords "I was just so angry with what Victor said that I lashed out at you for no reason" He stopped but didn't look up

"That's fine, I get it. I'm just this monster who kills for money and has no regret over it. Go to James, he's the bleeding heart, I'm sure you two will make the cutest damn couple in this damn base. Just leave me the fuck alone" He heatedly exclaimed

I gave him a confused look "James? What are you talking about Wade? Please don't shut me out" I went closer to him "Wade you're not a monster, I can't understand why you do the things you do, but you are most defiantly not a monster" He looked up at me

"Anna I'm not fucking prince charming, you deserve someone perfect not some mercenary"

"And I'm definitely not Cinderella" I smiled "I don't want you to be perfect Wade; I like you because you're you. You make me smile when that's the last thing I want to do. You make me forget about all the shitty things in my life" I took his face in my hands

He slowly leaned in and began to kiss me. My heart sped up and slowed down at the same time. He tasted like pure rapture. His hands traveled to the small of my back and pushed me closer to him. I put one hand on his neck and with the other grabbed his hair as he then began trailing butterfly kisses down my neck and chest. A moan escaped me and I instantly began to blush. I felt Wade smile as he continued kissing me. He softly began to take my shirt off.

"Wade…I" He stopped and looked at me "I…haven't…" His forehead wrinkled in confusion "I've never been with a man before"

Realization clicked "You know we don't have to do this if you don't want to sweet cheeks?" He offered with a smile

"You don't?"

"Yea I do, very much. In fact from the moment I met you I couldn't get the thought out of my head. So much in fact I thought I was going to explode" He rambled on a bit

I laughed "So then what are you waiting for" I said seductively

"Are you sure" He questioned

"Trust" I gave him a kiss "Me" and another "Wade" I bit his lower lip "I want this"

In a fraction of a second, Wade picked me up, turned me over so that I was underneath him, and kissed me till we thought we'd faint from lack of air. I took his shirt off and sat still for a couple second just marveling him. He looked like a flesh and blood Adonis.

"See something you like?" Mocked Wade as he took my shirt off, he then began staring hungrily at me

"See something you like" I mocked back

"Oh most definitely"

"Then show me" I challenged

Soon enough all article of clothing were shed and our bodies became completely familiarized with each other. It started as heated, lustful and passionate – aggressively taking each other. Once we were satisfied enough, we slowed down. Lovingly, tenderly, and affectionately – we loved every inch of each other.

That was the first night I didn't have a nightmare.

The first night the voices in my hand went away.

The first night I realized I loved Wade Wilson.

**I gave you plenty of Wades in this chapter and I think that deserves some reviews right? :D What can I say, I'm a review addict: D Thanks to all my readers and special grand big thanks to all my reviewers! You guys inspire me to write chapters even if I have to write them between classes or go to my friend's house and put up with her dog that loves to use my ankles as a chew toy lol**


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own X-Men or anything related to it.**

Love seemed to bloom at the mansion. Kitty and I used to joke that it was more like the Playboy mansion than Xavier's mansion. Everyone seemed to go buzzing around, going on dates and trying to find their special someone. Everyone that is, except me. Since a person's mutation usually flares up during puberty, the mansion was mostly filled with teens and their raging hormones. But I was always the one to shy away from it all. I saw it this way; Logan, the Professor, and all my friends,-as much as I cared for them and them for me- didn't owe me anything. People like my mother and father-or like a boyfriend- who did owe it to me to always be there for me and love me – disappointed me in the end. My mother, during the divorce settlement, gave my dad full custody of me in exchange for the two houses in Europe and my dad was just an abusive self centered man , threw me away like a piece of trash. So why would I want a boyfriend? So he too could disappoint me?

Therefore, realizing I was falling in love with a man I barely knew scared the shit out of me. But no amount of fear within me could tear me away from his arms right now. It felt so right. In one night Wade was able to ease the pain that burned so deeply within my soul. With every kiss, a bad memory was erased. With every touch, a scar would fade away. With every whisper, the hurt just melted away. And even if we crashed and burned in the future- it was worth it. I never thought I could feel this way; this sort of happiness just didn't happen to me.

Wade's arm tightened around my waist and snuggled closer to me. Lifting my head up a little from his chest to look at him I noticed how innocent and vulnerable he appeared when he was asleep. A few stray brown hairs draped over his eyes as a small smile graced his lips. He seemed so at peace with himself.

A kiss on my head pulled me out of my trance.

"What is that pretty little head of your thinking so hard about" Wade asked

I looked up and smiled at him "Nothing, just that you look so damn cute when you're asleep"

A look of mischief flashed in his eyes and he began to grin "Oh really? Well you asked for it" Before I could even question him, his lips savagely ravaged mine while his hand traveled down my body.

"Meet me in the Rec room in one hour, we have a new mission team" Stryker's sickening voice rang through the loud speakers

"What a kill joy" I said to Wade, who didn't stop his previous engagements "Wade!"

"Hmmm" He said in between another kiss to my neck

"We have a mission"

Stopping momentarily he explained "We have a whole hour babycakes and I can think of a few things we could do with that hour"

Rolling my eyes I told him "You know as well as I that whatever you're thinking is going to take more than an hour, besides I have to take a shower and get ready"

"No" Wade said pouting as he refused to let me go

"Wade" I said warningly but he didn't budge "Wade, if you let go of me, I'll make it worth your while when we get back" I said, changing my tone of voice to more of a seductive nature

"Fine" he said sighing

"Good boy" I gave him a kiss before I got out of bed and started getting dressed. Where was my shirt? I started looking everywhere until my eyes landed on Wade

"Looking for this" He said smugly as he twirled my shirt with one finger, I tried reaching for it but he took it out of my grasp "It's gonna cost you"

I leaned in for kiss but snatched the shirt instead

"Hey! So not fair!" Cried Wade indignantly

Laughing I said while walking out of the door "Sorry sugar but I know a kiss is going to lead to something else and I really have to get ready"

He huffed as a response. As I was closing the door I saw him get up from bad in all his glory. A dark red blush arose on my cheeks.

Walking to my room I saw Logan waiting outside my door.

"James?" I cautiously asked

"I need to talk to you goldie locks" He said as his eyes surveyed the area. I began to worry

"What about?" He didn't answer me; he just grabbed my arm and pushed me into the room. I stood there gawking at him "What ar…."

But he interrupted me "Do I know you?"

Realization started to sink in me "Well I hope so, I am part of your team" When the person whose memories you have reverted, begins to remember, you have to bring them to a slow and gradual conclusion. You can't just tell them outright the truth or their minds will overload- which could lead to a seizure or a self induced coma. They need to figure it out by themselves bit by bit.

"No, that's not what I mean. Have I met you before, before you came here?"

"Not that I know of" I gently said

"I'm having these dreams, and you're in most of them. You call me Logan in them" He told me with wild eyes "I just don't know what's going on with me' he added while running a hand through his hair frustratingly

"James, dreams are dreams and nothing more" I put a hand on his arm

"Yea….I guess you're right kid" He unsurely said, then with a quirk of an eyebrow he added "You smell different"

I backed away from him, damn him and his super nose!

He sniffed the air "You smell like….Wade" A growl escaped his throat

I swallowed hard. For once, I was glad he didn't remember me. Because if he did, Wade's throat would have been slashed open by now and I would have been put under house arrest till I was 30

"Umm you know I have to get ready for the ummm mission that we umm have" I stammered nervously

Before walking out of the room, he turned to me and said "Just be careful kid, I don't want you getting hurt"

I smiled and kissed his cheek and said "Don't worry wolvie, I can take care of myself, I did learn from the best"

A stunned look entered his eyes as I shut my door. The last time I saw him, I went on a mission with the X men to find a mutant who sent his school on fire. Logan was worried so before boarding the X-Plane I gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him the exact say thing.

I went into the shower and turned the water on as hot as possible, I leaned against the wall as a tugging began in the back of my head.

"_Professor?"_ I questioned

"_Anna, we have a situation"_ A worrisome professor said

I stiffened _"What kind of situation"_

"_My dear, Jean's powers have intensified these last few days and she senses that you and Logan will be in danger today. I assume Stryker's wariness about you have blossomed into full suspicion, I think he might have gained vital information on you" _

"_He is sending us on a mission in an hour"_ I informed him

"_Then that must be when he plans to confirm his uncertainties"_

"_What should I do professor"_ My stomach began to tightly clench

"_Wait until you are outside of the Base and at the first chance you get unravel Logan's mind to its full extent. Do you know where you will be going?"_

I concentrated and let a section of my mind drift from Cerebro to connect with someone else's- Zero's. Static….static…and there you go! Northern Canada? What would Stryker want in Canada? I linked both connections so that the professor saw what I saw.

_ "Anna, do not worry my dear, Scott, Jean, and Storm are on their way. Before Stryker can execute his plan they will have gotten you and Logan out of there and back home" _Home? The word brought both beautiful comfort and ugly realization.

_"Ok"_ I squeaked out before breaking the connection to Cerebro.

Today was going to be the last time I saw Wade. I was so stupid! How dare I get let myself get into this situation! What was I thinking that Wade and I would get married and we would live happily ever after? Happily ever after didn't happen to me!

I was so angry I didn't even notice that the water turned ice cold. How long have I been in here?

Running to my room, I threw on black pants and a dark red leather jacket with a black tank underneath. I arrived in the Rec room late. All eyes were on me.

"Nice of you to join us, Ms. Miller" Stryker said while glaring at me. I tried to look into his mind but a force pushed me back. There was defiantly a telepath doing his bidding.

"Sorry Sir, I lost track of time" If I had to call him Sir one more time I think I would literally be sick.

"We are going to Northern Canada. There is a highly dangerous mutant loose that we need to capture alive. Alive being the key word gentlemen…and Ms. Miller" Stryker explained the details of the mission. What was going on in that dirty little head of Stryker's? "Here is a picture of the mutant" He showed us a picture of a 30 something year old man with black beady eyes and long black hair

"We'll capture him alive, though he might press a sexual harassment law-suit against Vicky, cause he looks just like Victor's type" Wade joked around as Victor let out a low snarl and was ready to jump on Wade

"Settle down men! This mission needs to go flawlessly" A sudden look towards me from Stryker caught my attention.

"Aye! Aye! Sir!" Wade fake saluted

"Man it's too early to start with your bullshit" John said annoyingly

"Let's get this over with, I'm hungry " Dikes exclaimed

"You're always hungry Freddy; didn't you eat like a whole village for breakfast already?" Wade continued his mocking. I would have normally laughed, but utter apprehension and anxiety clad to me like a second skin

"Chris?" I suddenly asked to the quite man next to me

"Yea, Anna?" He asked

"_If you could leave Stryker and the team, would you?"_ I asked telepathically so that no one would overhear me

He seemed startled for a moment before he figured out what was happening "_Honestly? In a heartbeat" _He answered me in his head

I gave him a small smile

"Gorgeous?" Wade asked me all of a sudden with worried eyes "You okay?'

"Um, yea. I'm just a little tense"

Slipping his hand into mine, he gave me a small squeeze "Don't worry, It isn't going to be a repeat of Uruguay" He said mistaking my nervousness

As I gave Wade a quick kiss, I noticed Logan was just standing quietly to the side staring at me. A determined look in his eyes. He knew I knew more about his past then I let on. Don't worry Logan, you'll know everything soon enough.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Steeping out of the plane, bitter cold and grey skies surrounded me. The weather looks almost as miserable as I felt.

"There's movement up ahead" Logan said. We walked a bit until Victor signaled us to stop

"He's here" Victor announced as he began to extend his claws, his lips curled up to reveal brilliant fangs.

Wade unsheathed his sword and took a fighting stance, Zero had his guns out and ready to use. Chris stayed back as John and Dukes walked to either side to corner the mutant. Logan and Victor leaped forwards and began running towards the man. But instead of the man running away or getting ready to attack him – he crouched and then jumped up to the sky and momentarily disappeared.

"Son of a bitch!" Exclaimed Wade as his eyes frantically looked up trying to find the mutant. Wade backed up closer to me and said "Keep close to me, don't ever leave my sight" His protectiveness made my heart throb.

Then out of nowhere, a small speck started coming down from the sky at a fast pace. But the strangest part of all was that he wasn't coming towards Logan and Victor who initially moved to attack him. Or all the other men who stood aggressively ready to strike at him. No. He was coming towards me.

By instinct I shot my hand up and forced him to hover in mid air as I searched him mind.

I froze.

Images of Stryker and him hit my mind. He wasn't the prey- I was. He was hired by Stryker to kill me so Stryker could see if Logan had any extra reaction to my death which would signal that he might has regained his memory. That bastard! I had to leave, now! I heard a plane coming our way. It was now or never.

I threw the hired mutant as far as I could, over the tress and out of complete sight while creating a force filed around everyone but me and Logan.

"James!" I frantically screamed, Logan began to run at lightning speed to me

"Are you okay kid?!" Logan worriedly asked me. Confusion swept through everyone else as they realized they couldn't move.

I put one of my hands to Logan's temple "James you have to remember everything now! You have to remember me! Let me in fully into your mind!" I said desperately

It was like a flood gate just opened. I used all my strength and power to put all the pieces back together – and then it happened. Something clicked inside his mind. The pictures were finally all whole.

Logan's hand went up and grabbed mine "its ok darlin', you can stop now"

"Logan?" I timidly asked

He gave me a nod and then a bone crushing hug. A strong gust of wind surrounded us. The X-plane began to land a few feet away from us.

"Chris, this is your chance to start a new life. Will you come with me?" I released the hold on Chris. He walked towards me and stood next to me

"Thank you" Chris simply said with eyes shining with newly founded hope. I was about to ask Wade to come with me also….until I looked at him.

Pure and utter hatred burned in his eyes. I couldn't talk, I couldn't move.

My heart just shattered.

I heard Scott's voice in the distance. Logan pulled me towards the plane.

"I'm sorry" I whispered. But to no affect. Wade just gripped his swords harder and his stare intensified; Betrayal glowing brightly in his brown eyes.

It wasn't until I boarded the plane and Wade's face faded off to the distance that the full weight of what happened entirely hit me.

Not only will I never see the man I loved again but the man I loved- absolutely hated me.

**REVIEWSSSSS PLEASEEEE! Show me some love :D**


	10. Chapter 10

All throughout the plane ride back to the Mansion, I didn't speak- didn't utter even a word. So many feeling were coursing through me, each emotion fresh and raw. When I boarded the plane, I was met with hugs and worried expressions from Scott, Jean, and Storm. By the second question they asked that I left unanswered, they realized it was better to leave me alone for the time being. I wanted to tell them that I was fine, that I was just experiencing a minor bump in the road, and that I would get over it soon. But I've had enough of lies. When the time came I would tell them the truth. That I was stupid enough to fall in love with a man I barely knew who also happened to be my enemy. And now I was left with a broken heart.

Chris sat all the way in the back trying not to disturb anyone, while Logan sat quietly next to me. Knowing that the best thing for me now was to let me wallow in my pit of sorrow. Storm was telling him all that has happened in his absence as she kept glancing my way, uncertainty flashing through her eyes- she wasn't sure as to how she should approach me. Thankfully, she decided to just leave me be.

We landed at the Mansion. Like adding water to an ant pile, the students filed out of the school and surrounded the plane. I stepped out and everyone began talking at once

"Ms. Miller! Welcome back!"

"We missed you!"

"Glad to have you back! How did the mission go?!"

I didn't answer them. I just smiled and gave a small wave

"Ms. Miller is extremely exhausted kids, give her a chance to get some rest" Jean said, her eyes holding sympathy for me

"Jean, can you tell the professor I will see him later. I'm going to go to my room to get some sleep" I told her, shock radiating off her from the fact that I actually spoke

"Of course" She said as she gave my shoulder a squeeze "If you need anything, we're all here for you"

I smiled again and walked off to my room. A sudden rush of pain stung me and I collapse on my bed crying. The hurt and betrayal in Wade's eyes flashed in my mind. How selfish could I be? My plan was to go in, get Logan, and then leave. Clean and easy. Yet I let Wade get close and everything became one big mess. But you know what the sickest part was? That even though I felt like my heart has been set ablaze and anguish ran through my veins-I felt no regret. If I had the chance to go back in time and change what happened, I wouldn't. I felt more free the small amount of time I was with Wade than I have all my life. There was just something so startlingly and mind-bogglingly magnificent about him. He lived such a life of darkness and deception, yet he never let anything get him down and never bothered with trivial lies. He laughed and lived life to the fullest without a single regret. He always said what was on his mind and was painfully honest, not only to others but to himself. He was a paid killer yet ironically enough he led his life with more sense of purity than me.

Wade showed me that even something as lovely and innocent as a rose- still has thorns. It doesn't make the rose any less beautiful or good, it just makes it what it is. He led me to a self redemption that I have been denying myself for far too long. I cannot change what I am nor what I have done. All I can do is move on and stop living in the past. And if I have to live through the agony that I am feeling now just for that; It'll be enough. I wished with every fiber in my being that I was in Wade's arms right now- his hard chiseled body burning with warmth that engulfed all my senses and drove me absolutely mad.

But that's not going to happen.

So I am just going to take what I can get right now.

Story of my life- the one person that made me fall in love and made me want to relinquish the emotional imprisonment I put myself in for years. Was the one person I was never meant to be with. My future with Wade was nothing but an illusion. I was never going to see him again. However, strangely enough, there was just something in the pit of my stomach that was telling me otherwise.

If one thing being a telepath has taught me was that the future was never certain. It changes constantly and never settles in one place till it becomes the present.

………But no amount of telepathic power or wisdom could have prepared me for the way I was going to meet Wade again or the events that took place after…….

**I know this was an extremely short chapter and I wasn't too happy with the way it turned out but I wanted to create a setup for the next chapter. Think of it as the appetizer before the meal lol Please review! The more reviews I get the faster I update! P.S A great big shout out to all those that do review, you guys are just amazingly awesome! XOXO**


	11. Chapter 11

**One Year Later**

"So I finally got all the tests graded" I said to my class, faces of students contracting in concern at the mention of grades "And I must say I am very proud of all of you! No one got a grade below a B" Relief quickly replacing the concern, everyone started breaking out in cheers and high fives

"And because you all did so well I decided to give you all a reward"

"Like no more homework or like no more quizzes ever?" Kitty Pryde suggested

I let out a small laugh "Nice try kiddo but no. I am going to leave it up to a vote, do you guys prefer a week free of homework or that I give you ten extra points on the next two quizzes?"

As the class began discussing what they wanted I let my mind drift a bit. I looked out the window; it was such a beautiful day. The sky was as blue as the ocean and the sun shined brightly illuminating the city in warmth. Like the calm before the storm. Something was off. I've been feeling it for a while now but today….today the feeling in the back of my head turned into alarm in the pit of my stomach. The last time I felt this way was right before I went into Stryker team and met Wade. No! I will not think about Wade again. It is over and done with; it took me way too long to bury my feeling for him deep within me. There is no way I am going to let those feeling resurface.

"?!"

Snapping back to reality I noticed my students were looking weirdly at me "Yes Bobby?" I asked him confusedly

"Umm, we decided that we wanted a week free of homework" he said a bit timidly

"Oh, oh yes. Well you guys have worked really hard so I'm just going to give you the week and the extra points" They really did deserve it , I have been spacing out a lot lately and not giving them the attention they deserved and yet they still passed my test.

"Awesome!" Jubilee squealed

"You're like the best teacher ever" Kitty praised

"Yea well don't thank me yet, next week we're going to have a four chapter quiz and it's going to be harder than this one. So use your free homework time wisely" I warned, though I knew full well that the last thing they were going to do with their free time was study. But it was just one of those "teacher things" you had to say. They were all good students so I didn't worry.

"_Anna, can you please come to my office as soon as possible?"_ the professor said telepathically

"I have to go speak to the Professor, so I am ending class early. Enjoy your weekend!" The way these kids shuffle out of their classrooms you would think they were Olympic runners

I went into the Professor's office, feeling a bit on edge.

"You wanted to see me Professor?"

"Yes Anna, please sit" he politely offered "Scott and I will be going to see Erik later on today. Jean and Storm will also be going out. They are going to track down a potentially dangerous mutant. And I was wondering if you could stay and watch the children"

"Professor, if Jean and Storm are going into a risky mission please allow me to go with them"

"Someone must stay and look after the children my dear" The professor said gently

"Why can't Logan stay?"

"It's not that I don't trust Logan but I would like to avoid a repeat of last month's` incident"

Oh right… Last month we left Logan in charge and we came back to a kitchen on fire, broken furniture, and John Allerdyce tied to a chair. Needless to say I understand why the professor isn't too keen on letting Logan babysit again.

"Then let Logan go with Jean and Storm. I've been sensing something and I'm worried" I confessed

"So have I. I'm not sure what it is, but it is nothing good. If Logan wants to go on the mission he is more than welcomed too"

I smiled at the professor "Thank you. I'll go ask him now"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

I knocked on Logan's door. After bringing Logan back home, for weeks I spent more time in Logan's room than my own for two reasons. One, Logan was my only source of comfort during my sleepless nights when I couldn't stop thinking of Wade. And second, having Logan home and safe felt so unreal, that all I wanted to do was be by his side and make sure he wasn't going anywhere again.

"Hey kid, are you going to just stand there?" Logan amusingly asked

I laughed "Sorry, I've been out of it lately"

"I've noticed, you okay?" His eyes full of fatherly concern. My relationship with Logan was always a unique one; he was like my brother/father/best friend/partner in crime all in one.

"Yea, yea I'm okay. It's a telepathic thing- no need to worry. I just came to ask you if you wanted to go on a mission with Jean and Storm today." I asked, hoping I evaded his worry.

"Yea sure, a mission sounds good" I bet the fact that he would get to spend time with Jean sounded better. I felt horrible for Logan, he cared deeply for Jean and I knew exactly how hurtful a love that was not meant to be was.

"Just be careful okay? I don't want you forgetting about me again. You don't have to go if you don't want to, really it's totally okay" I rambled a bit

"Listen kid, you're the most important thing in my life, even when my mind didn't remember you, my heart sure did. So don't worry about me, you played hero for me already."

"Logan, you have protected me since the moment you met me. What I did for you last year is nothing compared to what you've done for me always. So to ask me not to worry about you is like asking you to stop smoking…never gonna happen" I tell him as I give him a hug he readily returned.

"I'm going to go and finish grading some essays. I have a feeling tonight is going to be a long one"

"You're going to see that babysitting a whole school of kids by yourself is harder than war!"

"No one blames you for the incident Logan honey, it's perfectly normal to set a kitchen on fire and you know these old furniture just breaks easily….and kids naturally tie themselves to chairs" I tease him

I get a grunt as a response. You know, I never really did confront him about all his grunting. I'll be sure to put it in my to-do list.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Three hours ago Jean, Storm, and Logan left on their mission and shortly after the Professor and Scott left too. I left my class room where I was currently grading papers and went into the living room.

It was a Friday night so almost everyone was in their pajamas scattered around the living room watching T.V or just hanging out. "Okay listen up guys" I shouted loud enough so that everyone could hear me "You guys can rent a movie on Pay Per View but it has to be a PG13 movie…no Horror. I don't want a repeat of last weekend" Last weekend the older kids decided to rent The Unborn and a few of the younger kids had nightmares for days. If it were normal kids that wouldn't have been that bad but when you have kids that spit out acid , throw kinetic energy, and sprout spikes when scared-then it becomes a really big problem.

"And no fighting or breaking things okay? What you are more than welcomed to do though is make as much popcorn as you like. I am going to go take a shower and I'll be down here shortly to join in on the fun" I smiled as they all agree. Some student began getting comfortable around the TV as others went up to their rooms.

I went up the stairs and into my room. I took my clothes off and jumped in the shower. Normally the deliciously hot water running down my body would feel like pure ecstasy but all I could do was frown. There was a sinking feeling in my stomach that refused to go away. It was like my instincts were nudging me into some sort of realization. But I had no idea what. I hoped with all my might that the others were alright.

I got out of the shower after only ten minutes. It must have been the quickest shower I have ever taken. I got dressed in my black shorts and a light pink tank. I was about to dry my hair when a sound caught my attention. I stepped out of my room and looked around. Nothing. Going downstairs into the living room I noticed the kids were quietly watching their movie.

I was about to sit down on the couch when Siryn's earth shattering scream overtook my senses. I was disoriented for a second before I went into overdrive. A man all dressed in black with a gun appeared in front of us. I used my powers to take his gun away and throw him as far as I could away from us.

"Run! Leave through the safety tunnels and don't come back until I or one of the teachers personally gets you!" I yelled to the students

"I can help you!" Peter said as his body transformed into metal

"No you have to help these kids out of here, now go!" I gave him a push forward as I began to run up stairs to help the others escape

A group of four men came out of a room with an unconscious Siryn.

"You boys have never seen the Discovery channel have you? You know what happens when someone messes with a Lioness's Cubs?" I telepathically wrapped all my power around them and painfully snapped their necks "They die"

"Ms. Miller" A frantic bobby screamed with a few other students in tow

"Here take Theresa and leave through the safety tunnel nearest the elevator, it'll lead you straight in the garage" I instructed him

"We're not leaving without you" He stubbornly said

"Listen to the boy Ms. Miller. The night is still too young to leave so early" A venomously drenched voice said behind me.

When I turned around I froze. My whole world began to shatter into a million unrecognizable pieces. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to run.

But I did nothing. Because standing in front of me were the repulsive Stryker……and the man who was both the source of my pain and happiness- with his swords scintillating in the light and his face holding no emotions at all.

Wade.

I put up a force field between us.

"Bobby, you need to leave right now. It is a direct order. No matter what don't come back for me!" I screamed to Bobby who nodded and along with a small group of kids began to run towards the tunnel.

"Ah you see Ms. Miller this time you're mind tricks aren't going to work. I brought my own personal weapon" Stryker said as a very young boy with one blue eye and one green eye walked our way and stood next to Stryker "Now Jason, you know what to do. Make father proud"

Before I knew what was happening, a sharp and skull crushing pain invaded my mind. I fell to my knees as I let out a scream of pure torture. Everything began to disappear around me and an abyss of blackness began to overtake me.

Wade….. he was the last thing in my mind as darkness drowned me.

**So hope you liked this chapter! Another cliffy I know but next chapter is going to be action packed and heaving with raw emotions. Reviewssssss pleaseeeee!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I do not own X-men or anything related to it…I do own Anna Miller though :D **

I felt like I was swimming in a pool of dense liquid, I was all the way at the bottom- complete darkness being my only company. Seeing a tiny speck of light at the top gave me the strength to frantically push forward with all my might. I willed my eyes open and suddenly the speck became a blinding spectrum of brightness. As I gained full consciousness, the feeling of a thousand needles being ruthlessly jabbed into my cranium made me want to smash my head against a wall.

"Ms. Miller" A tiny scared voice called out to me. It led me to realize my surroundings. I was in a highly secured dark and dreary cell with 14 other identical cells all around me. And inside the cells were 14 of the mansion's students. I tried using my powers to force the bars open but all I succeeded in doing was making my excessively awful headache even worse.

"Can any of you use your powers?" I asked the kids

"No Ma'am, they injected something to the back of our head so we wouldn't be able to use them" Tommy, a 12 year old boy who has the power shape shift, answered me. Utter revulsion and rage rose within me. These were just innocent kids! How dare they treat these children like some hardcore criminals? For God sakes they barely could even use their powers! The only thing Tommy can even shape shift into is to a puppy or a kitten. And yet here they are, being injected with some experimental drug and locked up like animals just because they were born different.

"Fuck!" I angrily screamed

"Ms. Miller….are we going to be okay" 16 year old Jubilee whimpered

I faked a smile "Oh honey of course we are!" A sob escaped another student

"Hey, come one look at me. Have I ever let anyone of you down? No. I am not going to let anything happen to any of you. Besides we are the X-men. Before you know it the Professor is going to come and bust us out!" Hope entered their eyes. I just wish I felt as confident as I sounded.

I begin to hear footsteps coming my way and the sound of applauding. Seeing who the person was took the wind out of me.

"You're quite the little actress aren't you?" Wade said with spite

"Wade….." So many emotions running through me but no words to describe them

"Oh please spare me. I've had enough of your lies" He came closer to my cell and wrapped his hands around the bars. I didn't notice how different he looked until now. His eyes were sunken in with dark purple bags under them. He must have lost about 40 pounds and his muscles seemed to disappear beneath his sickly white skin

"You know I pride myself in never letting anyone manipulate me, of always being in control. That's one of the reasons why I loved being a mercenary so much. I did what I wanted, when I wanted- and if anyone got in my way I killed them." His said as he began to bitterly laugh

"But then you came along…….who knew it would take a bitch to make me fall into a trap" He laced each word with resentment. And with each word he sliced a new wound in me.

He smacked the steel bars with enough force to rattle them. But then he stepped away and gave me a cynical grin "I blame my temporarily lapse of judgment on the cancer"

And that's when the unfeasible happened- just when I thought it was physically impossible to be in anymore unbearable pain……

I would have gladly accepted a sledgehammer to my head if it meant that it would erase the utter misery and despair I was feeling right now.

Wade started walking away when I on instinct shouted "I never meant to hurt you Wade; you weren't part of the plan. I never lied to you.....I love you!"

He stopped walking and just stood there, his back facing me. The seconds that passed by felt like an eternity. But he didn't say anything or do anything. He just started walking again and left my sight.

I braced myself against the wall of my cell and slid down. Hot angry tears of grief rolled down my face, I bit down my hand hard to keep me from screaming at the top of my lungs. Blood intermixed with tears as I broke. I was completely and irrevocably broken. I looked up to see the extremely worried faces of the students. It took all I had to stop crying and put up a brave front. I had to concentrate on the safety of these kids. I wanted to crawl in a hole and just die but what I wanted or needed didn't mean anything. The only thing that was important were the 14 young lives that I had to get home safely.

I started to panic when the containment room began to be filled with a gas. I tried using my powers again and I succeeded on slightly moving the bars. My powers weren't fully back but they were beginning to. I guess that was the purpose of the gas- to knock us out so they could inject us with a suppresser. Bastards!

"_Logan! Logan we're at Stryker's military base!"_ I tried to telepathically reach out to Logan. But I couldn't do anything else as I began to slip into unconsciousness.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

I woke up to the blaring sound of alarms. I gripped the bars of my cell to steady myself and get up. A hand roughly grabbed mine and sadistically dug his nails into my skin. I yelped and backed away as far as I could

"What princess? You're not happy to see me?" Victor sarcastically said. He paced around my cell like a lion stalking its prey "You took my brother away from me……did I ever properly thank you for that?"

"He's not yours to keep" I challenged him, which I guess set him off because he began to charge at my cell and rip the bars apart. I pushed myself farther into the wall, hoping it could just swallow me so I could disappear from Victor's line of attack. "Get the fuck away from me!"

He ran in and lifted me up against the wall. He trailed one of his violently sharp nails down my neck and chest while sliding a hand over my thigh "What? You wished it was good ole Wade doing this to you instead of me? Well hate to break this to you princess but Wade's gone"

I stopped breathing.

Wade was not dead! He couldn't be! I clawed at Victor's face as hard and aggressively as I could but it was like slapping a rock with a feather. All he did was laugh and was about to crush his lips against mine when he was harshly thrown of off me.

"Victor!" Logan's booming voice ran throughout the room. It was the sweetest sound I have ever heard.

Logan and Victor began to fiercely fight each other, breaking anything and anyone in its path. I ran out and began to frantically search the area for a way to release the captive students. I saw a dead soldier in the corner and found a master keycard-which I ripped from his carcass. I slid the card through the main entrance system and all the cells began to open. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"I want everyone to stay as close to me as possible! If someone starts shooting I want you to duck and use me as a shield-got it?!" No one answered, they just looks at me with uncertainty and fear "Got it?!" I practically screamed like a crazy woman, which resulted in a couple of nods. I took Tommy's hand-he was the youngest in the group - in my own. I wanted to make sure Logan was alright but I couldn't risk the safety of the kids. I didn't know exactly when I took on this mother like protectiveness over the kids at the mansion, it must have been around the first year I came into the mansion. I realized these kids were just as lonely and lost as I was, they had no one to protect them. So if I had to die today in order to keep them safe- I gladly would.

We rounded into a corner that had two ways of going. Right or Left? How the hell was I suppose to know?!

"To the right kid" Logan said as he appeared behind us with a completely torn shirt and blood spattered everywhere around him.

"Oh God" I said as I ran up to him and hugged the living daylights out of him

"Come on kid, we have to go" He gently pushed me forward. I didn't realize how tired and emotionally worn out I was until I was in Logan's arms. If it wasn't for the fact that Tommy took his tiny hand and wrapped it around mine, I would have just collapsed right then and there

We ran until we saw a clearing which we were about to go through when a shadowy figure stood in the way.

He was tall and muscular with markings all over his body. He had a shaved head and his face was disfigured beyond recognition. He didn't even have a mouth. His eyes…….his eyes…… reminded me of….Wade.

Why did he have Wade's eyes?!

"Wade buddy is that you?" Logan asked. No. I must have misunderstood. He couldn't have said Wade!

Two Katana swords slid out of his hands. My body began to wreck with uncontrollable shaking. I wouldn't wish this sort of pain to even my worst enemy…well maybe to Stryker. Normally this severe amount of agony would send a person to their point of destruction. And it would have.

If it wasn't for the brief flicker of recognition I saw in Wade's eyes.

"Wade?" I slowly asked. He just began to charge at Logan. "Wade!" I tried reasoning with him but he kept on fighting with Logan.

Punch, jab, stab, burn, teleport, slice…..I couldn't see anymore. Logan might have a super healing factor but he wasn't indestructible and Wade…. I couldn't let Wade die.

So I did what any sane person would do in my situation. Run away from the fight? No of course not. Run towards the fight and stand in the middle of two crazed super humans combating to the death. Logan tired shoving me away but I held my ground with all the strength I could conjure up.

Like I said, telepaths aren't known for their sanity.

"Wade I need you to remember me now. Because I've spent the last year suffering without you and since I saw you again I've been in pure hell. You are all I want! All I need! Dammit I love you!" I shouted with all my might. I was tired of running. Tired of hiding. It was time to finally step up.

Wade looked at me….raised his sword…. and sliced his mouth open.

"You look like shit Jimmy bear" The moment those words slipped out of Wade's mouth I swore my heart ruptured in pure elation.

The X-Jet landed in front of us and I saw Jean and Scott running from the other side of the building.

"Hurry! The building is going to explode" Jean frantically screamed. I scooped Tommy up in my arms and began running towards the plane.

Wade right next to me.

We boarded the plane and I handed Tommy to Jean, who began a quick check of the overall health of the kids.

We were in the air for about half an hour and Wade hasn't even looked my way. Then he spoke

"Hey Red?" He called to Jean "You got any cereal?"

I lightly smiled before I passed out cold.

**Hope you guys liked this chapter! Reviews are like ink to my pen…arrrgg like the keys to my keyboard actually. Lol the point is pleaseee review! Thank you! Oh! Btw there are like two maybe three chapters till the end.**


	13. Chapter 13

"_Anna! Anna Miller! Come down here right this second!" Daddy fiercely screamed _

_My little legs trembling as I walked downstairs to meet my very angry dad_

"_Anna, Leticia here tells me you have been playing with the boy from down the street. Is that true?" he asked with eerie calmness while my hideous step-mother, Leticia, smiled her wicked smile knowing what was to come_

"_Ye…yes da…daddy…." I answered with my voice quivering_

"_What did I tell you about associating yourself with those people?!" daddy shouted as he savagely grabbed my arm and twisting it till tears streamed down my face_

"_Wh…what people?" I asked, not understanding what my father was referring too _

_He hardened his grip on me "That atrocity's father is a dirty mutant! Not only does that make that boy a disgrace by association but it also means he'll probably be a filthy mutant too. I never ever want to see you near those people again – you hear me?!" He yelled before slapping me across my face._

"_Okay" I whispered quietly while sobs shock my tiny body. At 7 years of age, I didn't understand my father's irrational hate or cruelty. I only knew that if I ever played with the nice boy again daddy wasn't going to love me- and I wanted daddy to love me. _

_He lifted his hand again to strike me when……_

I snapped my eyes open and bolted up- my heart rapidly beating against my chest and my head pounding with ghastly intensity. It took me a whole minute to figure out I was in the mansion's medical wing. I let out a sigh of relief. I wasn't in a military base or a cell or my father's house. I was home.

"I'm so glad you're awake! You gave everyone a scare!" Jean said with a bright smile on her face as she walked in

I coughed "Can I have some water" I choked out, my voice as raspy as sandpaper

"Oh of course" Jean quickly walked over to a small refrigerator in the corner of the room and grabbed a cup and filled it with water

"Here you go sweetie" I took the cup she handed me and drank all the water in one big gulp

"Why do I feel so….weird?" I asked her, my voice almost back to normal. It was going to take more than one cup of water to quench the dehydration I felt.

"Well it's perfectly normal. You have been out for the past three days. You passed out on the plane from exhaustion and extreme cerebral strain. You also had a few wounds that put tension on your already overworked body" Wounds? I reached up and felt gauze on my neck and chest "Yea, your neck was bruised and had one long deep cut that ran all the way down to your chest. Your hand also had four puncture wounds" I looked down at my hand and saw that it was bandaged.

"Are all the kids okay?" I worriedly asked

Jean gave me a wide smile "They are a bit shaken up but completely healthy. You did good sweetie- actually you did amazing. Everyone is safe thanks to you"

I looked down "They shouldn't have even been in that situation. If only I was stronger….." I trailed off

"You're right; they shouldn't have been in that situation. But they were and not even the professor could have predicted what would happen. We're telepaths not fortune tellers. And you were the only reason everyone got home safe and sound. You really did do amazing"

"Then why do I feel so crappy?" I silently questioned

"Considering everything you just went through…I'd be worried if you didn't feel like crap"

The previous events flashed through my mind

"Is…Is Wade still here?" I asked, though I was afraid of the answer

"You mean Deadpool?..... yea he's still here…he is quite the character"

"Deadpool?"

"Yea , he insisted we called him by that" She sighed

"You're annoyed by him" I said it more as a statement than a question. I picked up on her mental frustration the moment I mentioned him

"He is…unique. Scott likes Logan more than him-enough said"

I laughed "Speaking of Logan…"

"He has been sitting by your side nonstop. The professor made him go out today and pick up some supplies for the damages on the mansion so he could get some fresh air"

The kids were fine, Logan was fine, Wade was alive- Things were finally starting to look up.

"And your friend Deadpool, he has been worried too, he just won't admit it. His mind is very difficult to get into but I did pick up on his concern for you" Jean informed me. I wasn't sure on how I should feel about that. I was a mixture of happy ,nervous, and scared.

"Can I leave the med lab yet?"

"I think walking around a bit would do you some good. Just don't overdo it okay?"

I nodded as she helped me get out of bed, she then handed me a pair of sweats and a black tank in which I changed into. I thanked her and walked out.

I got into the elevator and went up to the upper main level of the mansion. Getting out of the elevator I notice the damages Jean was talking about. Windows were broken, furniture destroyed, and bullet holes decorated the walls.

"Ms. Miller you're up!" An excited Jubilee ran my way and hugged me," oh my gosh I gotta tell everyone, we were all worried! You missed so much while you were out! The mansion was totally trashed when we got back. Some of my clothes even had bullet holes in them! Can you believe that?!" She rambled on. Behind her, walking was a man with a black and red mask on with two swords strapped to his back…Wade?

"Jubilee honey I have to go speak with someone, can we finish this conversation later?"

"Oh totally, sure Ms. Miller" I smiled at her and walked off to find Wade

"Wade?" I called after him but he kept on walking "Wade!" He finally stopped and turned to me

"I go by Deadpool now sweet cheeks" He said almost bitterly

"So I've been told"

"Nice accessories, makes you look like cage fighting Barbie" he joked while pointing to my bandages

"Yea, they were….welcoming gifts from Victor." That comment made Wade clench his hand so tightly that it made his knuckles turn completely white. An awkward silence formed between us

"Awkward silences were never my thing babe" He simply said as he walked away from me.

I stayed in place. He has been avoiding me since the plane ride back and I'm kind of glad that he was. It was hard being around him- not knowing what to say or what to do. Even though he was still Wade…he kind of wasn't. I mean he doesn't even like being called Wade anymore. I swallowed a lump that rose in my throat.

I felt my mental connection to Logan throb. He was home.

I walked to the front door and jumped into his arms

"Hey darlin'" He said softly as he held on to me "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay I guess" I said, my voice muffled by his shirt

"You shouldn't be up, let's get you into bed" I shook my head no "Kid you need to rest. I don't want you wearing yourself out into another coma"

I untangled myself from him "I'll be fine" But a yawn escaped me- contradicting my statement

"How about I stay with you until you fall asleep?" he suggested

"No it's okay, you have work to do an.." But he interrupted me before I could finish

"Either you start walking to your room or I will carry you up myself" Wordlessly I went towards my room, I learned long ago not to take Logan's threats lightly- he didn't joke around when it came to my health or safety.

The moment my head touched my pillow my eyes instinctively closed, it didn't take more than maybe 10 minutes before I dozed off.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

I woke up to a very sore body. I looked at my alarm clock; it was three in the morning. I should go back to sleep but my body protested. I'm just going to go downstairs and watch some TV because I couldn't spend one more second in bed. I stretched and went downstairs.

But I froze at the bottom step. Wade was already there watching TV. I could go back up to my room and he'd never notice I was down here.

Wait…….What the hell was I thinking?! I spent a whole year wishing I was with him and three days ago my whole world was torn apart thinking he was dead. And now he is right here in front of me and I'm running away? I willed myself forward and greeted him

"Hey" I said softly

He jumped a little with surprise "Geez the cancer didn't kill me but a blonde almost did, is going around giving people heart attacks a hobby of yours or something?"

I sat next to him on the couch "So it's gone? The cancer?" I said it so low, it came out almost as whisper

"Oh yea, wiped clean. But in return I got more than just a few accessories…." My heart ached for him "So what kind of school is this?! There's absolutely no porn on TV! How dare you people deprive these kids of the necessities of life?" He tried to change the subject

"Wade I.."

"Deadpool" he corrected

"Deadpool…" the name sounded so foreign on my tongue "You'll never know how much I've missed you"

He stared hard at the TV, like if the soda commercial that was on was the most fascinating thing he's ever seen.

"I came in with only one goal in mind-getting Logan out of there. But then I met you and you just stole my heart. I didn't use you and I never meant to fall in love with you" Wade stayed uncharacteristically silent "…but I did." I moved closer to him and forced him to look at me. I put my hand on his cheek and gave him a kiss through his mask. He wrapped one hand around me as I went in to give him another kiss. I was about to lift his mask and take it off when he forcefully threw me away from him.

I was too shocked to even talk

"Sorry sweet cheeks but I'm not the guy you claim to have loved. Get over it" He said with full resentment

I felt sick to my stomach "I don't give a damn if you go by Wade or Deadpool or whatever! You're still the same man that took my breath away!"

"Oh really?!" He said as he violently took his mask off and threw it to the side, revealing his scarred face." I bet I still fucking take your breath away huh?! Take a good look gorgeous because Wade is fucking gone and this is all you have left!" Pure revulsion radiated off him.

I simply walked closer to him and put my hands on his face "I love you, all of you" and I put my lips to his, kissing him with as much passion as I could muster up.

He gently took my hands off his face "You know, the most impressive part of my body is still as impressive as ever" he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows and a confident smirk

But he still picked up his mask and put it back on

I didn't say anything else though; I just sat back down the couch and curled up next to him. Happy to have his warmth back next to me.

**More Wade fluff coming up in the next chapter :D REVIEWWWWW!!! **


	14. Chapter 14

I love Wade. It was as simple as that. But what wasn't simple was….everything else. Before, my relationship with Wade was complicated- but now with his current "condition" our relationship wasn't only difficult but it was taking a toll on both of us. I wish I could make Wade see that just because he looked different now it didn't mean I loved him any less. Of course I'm not going to pretend like it is perfectly okay. Wade Wilson was the most gorgeous and heart wrenchingly handsome man I have ever seen in my life so it did take some time to get used to Deadpool's appearance. I just needed to adjust. But don't think for a second that I loved him or wanted him any less because of it. Every inch of my body and soul yearns for him.

But he……

He thinks himself as a monster. He broke every mirror in his room and adamantly avoids any reflection. He wears his mask always. And I mean always. I don't even think he takes it off to shower. He only takes it off to eat and because of it he eats by himself in his room. He disgusts himself. And it simply kills me. I mean this used to be the man whose ego was bigger than Texas. The man who was so secure and confident that everyone in the whole world could have told him he was the repulsive man alive and he would have simply laughed it off. Now it only takes one sideways look from a student and it sends him spiraling into deep depression.

Of course, he never lets his pain show. He puts up this amazingly brave front, fooling everyone into believing he is flawlessly fine. But I know better. And it's not because I'm a telepath- but a woman in love knows certain things about her lover that the world is oblivious to. I cherish his every word, every move, and every action. His happiness breathes life into my heart. When someone you love is in pain, you tend to feel it double than they do.

And the pain he is in completely crushes me.

When I get too close to him, he just pushes me away. He hasn't even let me kiss him without his mask on again. He is his flirtatious self as always, with his ever insinuating comments that make me blush all the colors of the rainbow. But when words are put into action…he freezes. It's not that he doesn't want me- because he does. He obviously really extremely does. Sexual frustration comes of off him in overwhelming waves when I'm around. So much so, that Logan refuses to step foot into a room that we are both in. Jean doesn't even dare to come within six feet of us when we're together. And the other day Wade walked into my room right as I was coming out of my shower. I was only in my short towel dripping wet, he became as still as a statue and then ran out of my room. He spent the next three hours taking a freezing cold shower and refusing to see me for the rest of the day.

So the problem isn't the sexual attraction between us- rather it's because of it. He wants me and he knows I want him but he doesn't want to put himself in such a vulnerable position. Because when it comes down to it- carnal desires equates to physical attractiveness. And if he doesn't find himself pleasant enough for him to look at his own reflection in a mirror- why would he want to be completely exposed to me.

And it's just wearing us out. It's not like I can just make him get over it. He was disfigured by the brutality of military experimentation. How can you even expect him to get over something like that?

"_Anna can you please come to my office, I have news you might want to hear" _The professor rang in my head snapping me out of my reverie

Walking downstairs I noticed Wade was going towards the Professor's office too.

"You got called down to the principal's office too babe?"

"The professor called for you also?" I asked skeptically

"Yea….Isn't it a bit weird he just pops into to your mind?"

"No, not really. Cerebral connections are entirely natural, it's not like he's invading your mind. He is just sending you a mental call." I nonchalantly explained

"Yea, but you're a telepath. It's like asking a monkey if it's weird to eat your own poop- of course their going to say it's natural" I grimaced as his comparison

"Shut up Wade and please behave yourself with the professor"

"Hey! I always behave!" Well at least he stopped correcting me whenever I called him Wade. The name Deadpool just never felt right on my tongue.

I opened the door and squealed when I saw who was in there.

"Hank!" I hugged Hank McCoy

"Well it is certainly nice to see you too my dear" He smiled down at me

"Who's the smurf?" Wade boorishly asked

"Wade this is Hank McCoy, he used to be the Mansion's doctor. Jean received her remarkable medical knowledge thanks to him"

"Whoa and I thought I had it bad" Wade stated referring to Hank's appearance. At times, I wished he still had his mouth closed shut.

"Oh what a charming fellow" Hank sarcastically said

The professor coughed and began speaking "Well now that the introductions are over with, I can get to the point as to why I called both of you"

I nodded him to continue

"You see I have been contemplating Mr. Wilson's situation for some time now and with Hank's help we came to a conclusion. According to the preliminary tests that we gave Mr. Wilson when he first came here, the results show that cellular regeneration and genetic coding reversion is very possible" My whole body felt on fire from the hope and excitement the professor has instilled in me

"In English?" Wade snapped. I imagine anything that had to do with his heath or testing put him on edge

"Well Mr. Wilson , we think it is very likely to revert the damage your body has endured due to alien cells that was implanted in you"

Wade was quiet and absolutely still for a few seconds before he jumped up and spoke "Well let's get cooking good looking! If you do a good job I'll even give you a doggie treat"

"Well genetically speaking I will be able to improve your current standing, as for you attitude you'll need an animal trainer with a tranquilizer gun to be able to instill some manners in you!" Hank brusquely said

"I apologize for him Hank; there is just no filter between his mouth and his brain. But we'll work on that…won't we Wade?" I glared as hard as I could at Wade

"Yes we will…I'm sorry Mr. Hank McSmurf, I'll be sure to give you a year's worth of Brazilian Wax certificates for Christmas" And with that said he took off laughing

I signed and pinched the bridge of my nose….this was going to be a long week…….

**I know it was a short chapter but I didn't want to rush into what is going to happen next. It is going to be a very hard chapter for poor Wade- Please Review!!!!!!!**


	15. Chapter 15

After a long week of various tests and trials on Wade, Hank has given the green light to start the first round of regeneration today. Jean and Hank will be administering several rounds of crucial medications and vital surgeries on Wade. And with every procedure- risks and side effects will go hand in hand. Hank and Jean have meticulously inspected all data and have dedicated their entire time and attention solely on the matter at hand. Jean has estimated a survival rate of 82% with a recovery rate of 100% if all goes well. They have considered every internal and external factor that might stain the purity of their hypothesis- and with certainty they think that it will be a success.

And Wade is overjoyed.

He doesn't care in the slightest that he will go through rough and agonizing side effects nor the fact that there is an 18% chance that he might die. The other day when Jean was explaining the whole process to him, he began drawing stick figures on a piece of paper and completely ignored her. It's like this is one big joke to him.

But it's not to me.

I spent the last week reading piles and piles of medical textbooks and going over all of Wade's medical results. I spend every waking moment of my day worrying over him. And whenever I try to have a serious conversation with him about it he just laughs in my face and tells me to relax. Do you have any idea how infuriating that is?! He is going to take powerful medications and going to have major surgery and he tells me to relax! It makes me want to pack my things and runaway till it is all over. But that idea, as indulging as it is, is impossible. Because there is no chance- not even in an alternate universe- that I will leave him alone through this whole process.

But even if I won't leave him alone doesn't mean I'm going to face him. I am scared and mad and I just want this to all be over with. That is why I am hiding out by the pool far away from the mansion. Wade's first round is starting in a couple of hours and if something goes wrong I really don't want to be there.

"Hey there babycakes, didn't you hear the professor calling you or have you finally realized how creepy it was to have him in your head so you blocked him?" Wade's voice rang behind me. Damn how did he find me?! I put up a mental wall and blocked any incoming telepathic message not because it was creepy but because I didn't want to be found.

"How did you find me?" I asked dejectedly

"Well James the bloodhound sniffed you out…." His eyes narrowed at me "You didn't want to be found? Don't you know my first session is starting in a few?"

I looked away from him "…yea I know…."

"Oh I see. That's fine. Go out, have a drink, share a few laughs with your friends-and if I to survive I'll be sure to give you a call" He sardonically badgered me

I looked at him with fury in my eyes and gave him an angry shove- that didn't move him in the least bit "That is not fair! How dare you even suggest I don't care?!"

"Well you sure aren't acting like you do"He spat out

"I have spent the last seven days tormenting myself with worry, while you sat on your ass and took this all as a joke. And now you come to me and have the balls to accuse me of not caring?!" I heatedly shouted in his face

"You know why I don't fucking fear any of it?! Because I went through hell already! You weren't there when I found out I had cancer and had to look at myself and know that every day that passed brought me closer to death. I cried and screamed and worried till I bleed with fear. And just when I thought I couldn't be any more fucking scared Stryker began his experiment and I had to personally witness him turning me into a monster. I worried enough. Now all I want to do is be numb to it all!" I have never seen Wade like this; he clenched and unclenched his fists while his eyes held a haunted look. I felt my eyes water up.

"But you didn't go through the worst! You lived! Please don't do this!"

"There are things worse than death" He pessimistically said

"Why must you want everything, you're cured and healthy- why go look for more?" I desperately tried to convince him

"Because I'm not happy" He soullessly stated

"Aren't I enough to make you happy?" Tears began to roll down my face

"No" And then he walked away.

One word…it all took one word to make me want to give up on my relationship with Wade. I loved him but never once did he say he loved me. I realized with a sunken heart that maybe my relationship with Wade was never a relationship… what I fought so hard for was only an illusion. All odds were against us from day one and I should have realized why.

I dragged myself to my room and sat on my bed for about an hour and a half before deciding what I had to do. There is only so much pain a person could endure. And I've had enough. I was going to permanently end my "relationship" with Wade and I was going to move on with my life and away from him.

But I was going to be there for him throughout his whole physical restoration process. Even though I was going to sever my bond with him, my feelings for him haven't changed. It was time to grow up – no more hiding or running away.

"_Jean? Have you started Wade's first surgery?" _I asked her mentally

"_Not yet, we are prepping him now"_ She answered

_"I'll be down there in a minute"_

I splashed some water on my face and took a deep breath in. I locked away all my emotions for Wade. But my legs trembled and my heart throbbed all the way to the Medical Lab. I stopped in front of the double doors leading into the room where he was. Jean sensed me and motioned me in. I dazedly went in and stood as far away from Wade's bed as I could

"We just applied the anesthesia" Hank informed me

I nodded and was about to walk out when I noticed how harmless and lonesome he looked lying down in the cold metal operating table. So I walked up to him and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. What would a kiss hurt if he wasn't even awake to notice it?

I walked out and stood in the hallway, waiting till the surgery ended.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-C

Four hours later and Jean walked out

"The surgery went incredibly well, he is very resilient. We applied the secondary round of rehabilitation injections that will help his own cells re-grow and wipe out the alien ones- so he is going to be out for quite a while. I suggest you go and get some sleep"

"Thank you Jean" I sincerely told her. She just smiled and ordered me away with a flicker of her wrist.

There was no way I wanted to be alone tonight so I decided to go to Logan's room. He didn't like me sleeping next to him because of his vivid nightmares. A couple months after I first met him I sneaked into his room at a Motel we rented out and fell asleep next to him. He had one of his nightmares and sliced my arm open. 12 stitches later- he forbade me to ever sleep in the same room as him. Of course throughout the years I have slept in his arms but with him fully awake or with him sleeping in a couch or chair next to me.

I knocked on his door

"Come in Kid" He yelled through the door

I went in and sat on his bed "How did you know it was me?"

"Darlin' I know your scent better than I know my own"

"Of course, it was a stupid question" I told him with downcast eyes

"Hey kid, did Wade's operation go okay?" He asked me, mistaking my gloominess for bad news

"Umm, yea, it went perfect"

"Then what's wrong?" he questioned me

"You know when you want something so bad so you go for it with all your might but you never stop to realize that maybe what you want doesn't want you in return?"

"Oh darling" He began as he sat next to me and put his arm around me "Any guy would be the luckiest bastard in the world to have you by his side. And if he doesn't, then chances are he is the biggest idiot to have walked the face of this earth"

I shook my head "It was my fault. I threw myself head first without checking first if there was going to be someone in the bottom waiting to catch me"

"I'll always catch you" Logan sweetly said. The best thing that has ever happened to me was meeting Logan

"I know. I'll be there to catch you too"

"You already caught me kid. When I fell the hardest, you were the one that caught me" He said as he kissed my temple

"I'll never need another man in my life but you Logan"

He sighed "As much as I hate any male coming near you, you do need someone else other than me darlin'. And just because it didn't work out with Wade, it doesn't mean it's the end of the road"

I stayed quiet, letting his words sink in. Being with another man……..just sounded wrong.

"But hey, if you don't want to date till you're thirty then I won't stop ya" Logan joked

"Do you mind if I sleep with you tonight?"

"Hop in kid" he said as he patted the bed. I crawled underneath the covers and snuggled into Logan as if he were my own person giant sized CareBear. He lightly patted my back as I snoozed off into a nightmare filled sleep.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Hey kid…kid" Logan whispered to me as he gently jabbed his finger in my ribs

"Stttooooppp" I whined as I slapped his hand away. In response he lifted the covers off me and took my pillow from under me "Hey!"

"Kid, Jean wanted me to tell you that Wade is awake" Any trace of sleep that I had was completely washed away as Logan uttered those words.

"Umm….okay"

"You don't have to see him if you don't want to" Logan said sensing my discomfort

"No it's okay" I got out of bed and went to my room- where I took as much time as possible brushing my teeth, taking a shower, and getting dressed.

I exhaled a long sigh, delaying it was only making me more anxious. I dragged my feet as I went to Wade's recuperation room in the Sick Bay. I stopped at his door to regained my composer.

Stepping to his room an incredulous feeling replaced my previous anxiety the moment I saw Wade "Oh wow" was the only thing I could utter

"What? Smurfalicious didn't make me blue like him did he?" Wade said as he teasingly looked over his body with fake frantic

"No…you…just…wow" I mumbled like an idiot

Wade's prior ashen skin glowed with newfound life. His face contoured up into a more distinctive shape with more defined features. The raw cuts under his eyes healed into smooth and silken skin tissues. He even had brown stubble growing on his head! I instinctively reached out and ran my hand through his prickly baby hairs. If he looked like this with only one session, imagine when he would look like when he finished the whole process?!

His lips curved up into a smile "Like what you see?" Remembering those were the words he joked around with when we first made love - sent a nasty reality shock through me. I recoiled my hand as if burned.

His expression changed into one of uncertainty but it quickly changed into one of illness. Before I could question what was wrong he began vomiting, his body painfully thrusting forward as he emptied bile everywhere.

"_Jean! Jean! Something's wrong!"_ I hysterically told her

I ran to him and rubbed his back in comforting motions as he threw up again, this time on my shirt.

Jean dashed in and quickly injected some sort of yellowish liquid into his arm. Slowly he regained his posture and stopped vomiting.

"One of the side effects of what we injected you with yesterday is extreme nausea; I just injected you with Compazine to stop the nausea for a while. But because of the cocktail of medicines we are pumping your system with; we can only give you the Compazine once every 12 hours. So unfortunately next time you begin to heave, you're going to have to ride it out" Jean informed us as she grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to him. "I'm going to bring you a change of scrubs and sheets" and she was out of the door

Wade looked completely humiliated; his eyes were full of shame.

"It's okay, I didn't even like this shirt that much" I tried lighting up the mood

"Fucking perfect" he angrily declared "You're incredibly stupid to want to be with me, I'm a fucking mess"

"…..is that what you want?" I silently said

"Want what?"

"Not to be together" His eyes snapped to mine, for a second I could have sworn I saw desperation in them but it was substituted by detachment

"Like we ever were" He unsympathetically told me. His words bloodily tore my heart from my chest.

"Exactly" I squeaked out "its better we end this now than we drag it out for any longer"

He just looked away and didn't answer me.

Jean walked in with his new pair of scrubs and looked at me worriedly

"_I'm fine…I'm fine"_ I told her.

I'm fine…. I chanted to myself

I just wished that I could fool myself into believing it.

**I hold this chapter close to my hear because we all saw Wade as this strong ass-kicking badass but with this chapter I expressed what he went through and how physically and emotionally scarred the events he had to endure left him. That's why in the comic Deadpool is so psychotically unstable…….But thankfully in this story we have Anna to pick up the pieces ;) PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men or anything related to it….how I wish I did though!**

In the last three weeks Wade has gone through four surgeries. I waited for him to be put under anesthesia to go inside and give him a good luck kiss on his cheek. Then I waited patiently in my room till Jean sends me a telepathic message saying that the surgery was over and it was okay to go in and see him. I would go into his room and I would stay by his side and hold his hand until he began to stir in his sleep- signaling that he would wake up soon. Then I would leave.

I was trying my ultimate hardest to get over him- I knew that the best and healthiest thing to do was to just sever all contact with him. But like an addict, I just couldn't seem to quit him entirely. I needed my daily fix of him. I know it is detrimental to my progress because as the days go by, it has become almost impossible to tear myself away from his side. But there was just this gravitational pull that drew me to him. And a big part of the reason why it has become so inhumanly unbearable to stay away from him was because the restoration sessions have been an incredible success. He has progressed better than anyone could have hoped. He wasn't just the man that I loved with the face of a stranger anymore. He was Wade Wilson again. He looked exactly as he did before. With the exception of a few scars and stitches that needed to heal and Hank said that those would mend after today's final medication therapy. After today, all Wade would need to do is rest and with time- it would be like all he went through with Stryker was just a distant nightmare.

And I was really happy for him.

But I wasn't happy with myself. The moment Wade gets back on his feet I was going to fall back into my vicious cycle of loving him and getting hurt again. I was a masochist for his unrequited love for far too long. I needed to break away- I owed it to myself.

"Anna" I heard a knock on my door

"Come in"

Storm walked in and gave me a smile "I know you've been down in the dumps lately but there's a visitor here that I'm sure is going to put a smile in my face"

My forehead crinkled in confusion "A visitor?"

She laughed to herself "Yep, he's downstairs. And don't try to look in my head to see who it is because I am really looking forward to seeing your face when you see who it is" Now I was really confused

"Okay…." I said suspiciously. I jumped from my bed and started walking downstairs with a giggling Storm right behind me.

"Oh my gosh! Did you see him! He is like mega cute! And he totally winked at me! I wonder who he is?!" I heard a student say to her friend as I passed by

I wonder who they were talking about, a new student perhaps. I went downstairs and rounded the corner when I saw who the mysterious man was.

"Storm, I thought you said my visitor was going to bring a smile to my face?" I told Storm jokingly as she laughed and left us alone

"Mon amour, it's good to see you too" Remy's honey silk voice rang out

"It _is _good to see you, now I can get back the money you owe me you swamp rat"

He put a hand to his heart feigning hurt "I have traveled across oceans just to see you chérie, and this is how you treat Remy? Not even one hug?"

I let out a whimsical laugh, the first real laugh I've let out in a while. He just had that effect on me.

"Well since you did come all the way here, I guess I could give you one little hug" I teased as I walked up to him and hugged him.

"Dieu merci! Now I could die a happy man!" Remy said as he sneaked in a kiss to my cheek. I was going to lightheartedly slap him when I stopped dead in my tracks. Like a deer caught in headlights, I stood frozen- clinging to Remy.

Remy detangled himself from me sensing something was wrong and turned around to look at the direction I was looking at.

Wade stood in front of us shooting daggers of pure hatred at Remy. Poor Remy's eyes full with puzzlement shifted from Wade then to me and then back to Wade, before deciding to extend his hand and introduce himself.

"Bonjour, Remy Lebeau at your service"

Wade looked him up and down before lifting the corner of his mouth into a mocking grin "Nice cape. Who picked your clothes? Elton John?" he said, making fun of Remy

"Wade!" I scolded him "What are you even doing up? Hank said you were suppose to be in bed rest"

"Just taking a stroll…. " He said as he got closer to Remy, challenging him

"Go back to bed, if Jean sees that you're walking around she's going to have a fit" Last time Wade sneaked off, he tore open all his stitches

"Listen to the girl Homme, and run along….." Remy hotly said. If there was one thing Remy couldn't refuse – it was a challenge

"How about you go to wherever it is you came from and play Hide and Go Fuck Yourself!"

I had to run in between them before they started fighting and someone ended up seriously hurt

"You know, you two give the word Neanderthal a whole new meaning! Wade, go back to bed and Remy go to the professor, I'm sure he wants to see you" I said with frustration. They were acting like two little boys fighting over a new toy.

Remy relaxed and started walking off to the direction where the professor was "I'll meet you in your room later chérie" He said it casually, with no real malice or sexual meaning behind it.

Wade became enraged though and he moved forward to strike at Remy. I grabbed his arm and stood in his way. If Wade would have been his healthy self, I wouldn't even have had time to stop him. In fact I wouldn't have even noticed Wade went to lash out at him until his sword would have been sticking through Remy's chest.

"What is wrong with you? Remy has done nothing to you and you're treating him like your mortal enemy" It was very possible that Remy actually found someone that hated him more than Logan

Wade's eyes burned into mine "You didn't waste any time did you?"

"What?"

His face inches away from mine "If I would have stayed disfigured, you would have probably slept with a stranger while my back was turned" As he said those word, time itself stopped for me. I did the only thing that came to mind…I raised my hand and slapped him as hard as I could across his face

"If you ever talk to me like that again….they will be your last words to me" I heatedly threatened

And without waiting for his reaction I sharply turned around and darted to my room, I threw the door closed with a loud bang. I started breathing heavily as all the objects in my room started floating up in the air. And with one aggravated grunt, I threw my bookcase across the room – making a dent in my wall.

All Wade every did was hurt me. And what ticked me off even more was the fact that I couldn't hate him! As much as I wanted to- I just couldn't!

My breathing sped up and my pupils began to dilate. All the objects that were lifted up in the air began to hastily spin around me in a circle. I felt my control slipping. I let out an aggravated shout. My back arched as a swift but potent pain ran through my body. Different voices attacked my mind, emotions and thoughts not my own plagued my senses.

I saw Logan and Scott in the doorway screaming something at me but the voices…oh God the voices! They were so loud, I couldn't hear Logan – his eyes wild with worry, tried to come closer to me but I unconsciously put up a solid barrier between us.

The walls of my room began ripping themselves apart and the fragments of wood were added to the telekinetic vortex around me.

The was a strong push inside my mind, trying to calm me down…bring some sort of peace in the unleashed chaos….but I fought back

I was sick of it all. My dad, Stryker…Wade. Everything I kept so deep within me was pouring out.

It felt like the first gasps of air a newborn inhales- painful, frenzied, and remarkable.

Everything started to get blurry but I made out one figure that was pushing himself towards me. Wade. Pieces of wood struck at him and embedded themselves all over his body. "Leave!" I shouted at him

But he didn't move. Just stayed there taking in all the abuse. My confusion made my powers flicker and the force field dropped. Wade must have noticed because he in one fluid movement ran to me and took a hold of my arm.

His touched added fuel to my fire. I wanted him to experience all the hurt he has put me through. I reached out and touched the side of his head. I saw things that I was definitely not expecting to see.

I felt the betrayal he felt when he saw me leaving with Logan. I experienced the absolute hopelessness he experienced when he found out he was sick. I lived through the turmoil he lived through when he saw what Stryker turned him into. But what made me solidify myself in place was the most powerful and dominant emotion in him…….his love for me.

A blinding light invaded my vision and I felt myself sinking into the floor. Wade's muscular arms secured me in his tender grip. My body began to violently convulse and seizure sporadically.

But I didn't care.

The only thing that mattered was that Wade loved me.

**The next chapter will explain why Anna had this sudden panic attack and will bring Wade and Anna together…finally :D REVIEWWW!!!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Before you start reading, if you can , you should listen to Enrique Iglesias's "Hero". It really pulls at the heart strings lol  
**

I felt so disillusioned with myself. How did I let myself loss that much control?! I spent all my life patching up the cracks within me and gluing all my broken pieces together, all to have it blown me in my face in a moment of rage. It took both the professor and Jean to extinguish the firestorm that was unleashed in my mind. And after I regained my equanimity, I asked to be left alone. I have been sitting in a bench outside near the gardens for almost five hours now and they have still respected my plea. I didn't know how I was going to face everyone. What kind of mentor was I? Prepubescent newly activated mutants had ten times more self-control than I did. The option of leaving the mansion was becoming more absolute with every passing second. I was becoming a danger to not only myself but most importantly- to those around me.

I was so deep in thought that I didn't notice someone was next to me until I heard the bench squeak with newfound pressure of a second occupant, I whipped my head around to look at the person

"Wade….I just want to be alone" I told him as I looked away. It was physically painful to glance at him. He looked like the exact same Wade Wilson I left standing in the cold a year ago.

He nodded "I know" but he stayed sitting next to me- didn't move, didn't even try to speak to me. Just comforted me with his presence.

It was completely silent, only the mellifluous sounds of nature humming around of us. I would have loved to stay in this moment for an eternity- regrettably there were things that needed to be said and bridges to be burned.

I let out a heavy sigh "You resent me….." It wasn't a question, unfortunately, it was a statement

He nodded again, his face unapologetic; He remained silent- I have never seen Wade so lost for words. Forever seemed to pass by us before he answered "Is that all that you discovered that I felt for you?"

I looked at him, my eyes bearing into his soul "No…but the other emotion needs to be said by you….I already realized it by myself, I don't want to have to say it too"

His expression softened "I'm sorry I never made you feel…..that I cared about you" he said, the word love slipping into oblivion- he was still unable to say or even admit that he loved me "I was the untouchable mercenary. I never blinked even an eye at killing, woman or man. I lived life on impulse never caring about anything or anyone other than me but then you came along….."

"Wade I…" He looked away from me and ignored what I was saying- continuing his previous statement

"Then you came crashing down into my life and distorted everything. The more you were around me the more I wanted…..needed to be with you. You were this amazing girl and I was just a ruthless killer and yet you still accepted me as I was. I was willing to change for you"

"I never asked you to change. I loved you just as you were" I said interrupting you

He shook his head "I _wanted _to change. Life was crap and cruel and the only way of surviving it was to be even more cruel than it. But you became the light in the darkness" He stopped and started laughing "I could punch myself for sounding so fucking cheesy"

I lightly touched his hand and gave him an encouraging smile but he stopped laughing and his face became overwhelmed with misery. He swiped his hand from under mine and looked at me bitterly

"But then you chose James and left me standing in the middle of nowhere without even a single explanation. Then I got to go back to the cozy base and find out I had cancer and that my mutation wasn't strong enough to fight it off. But the fun didn't stop there; a year later we got a mission where we had to infiltrate a school…. And there you were, living happily and comfortable without a worry in the world in this great big mansion not caring in the slightest that you ripped by fucking heart out and that I was dying"

Tears slid down my face as his words hit me with the force of a truck "You're wrong" I simply said

"Oh yea, well princess please tell me what I missed" he spat out

"You thought you were the only one affected?" I angrily asked him "My mission was to go in and be part of Stryker's special team to rescue Logan. But then I met you and you awoke a part of me that I didn't even know I had. You were my first Wade. My first and _only._"Shock sprung in his features "That last mission Stryker sent us on was to get me killed so I wouldn't compromise his plans with Logan. I had to leave that exact moment or I wasn't going to survive another minute under Stryker's watch. I didn't have time to tell you the truth"

His eyes narrowed at me in confusion and disbelief "Then why did you ask Chris to go with you and left me with shit?"

"Because I knew that Chris wanted out. But you…..you had this look of detestation and I thought there wasn't any use of even asking you to go with me because I thought I knew what your answer would be. You lived your whole life as a paid killer, I didn't think you would suddenly leave everything behind for me…a one night stand" I swallowed a lump in my throat, trying to keep myself from sobbing

"You were not a one night stand" he said through gritted teeth

"And you thought I knew that?! But come on, honestly, would you have left with me that day if I would have asked you to?

The question caught him off guard "…..no" he answered truthfully "But it would have mattered"

"There were many things we both could have done differently- but we didn't. And you know, that year after- I didn't spent is in freaking wonderland. I cried every night for you. I yearned to have you next to me. There was no power or force in this world that could have gotten me to forget you. But there was nothing I could do"

Wade's expression changed "I guess the question now is if we want to live with the paths we chose to take and move on?"

It was the million dollar question. Could we really put the past behind us?

Before I answered I had to ask him something "When you said that I wasn't enough to make you happy….did you mean it"

He took my hand in his "I went through the surgery for you. To make you happy….. I never gave a shit about me"

I got the sudden urge to punch him "I told you I didn't care! I love you for you not for what you look like!" I exasperatingly said

"I wanted you to have better – you didn't deserve to settle for a freak. If it were any other girl, I would have fucked her with my mask on and not give a shit what she thought" Then he looked up at my and gave me his famous grin "Besides who wouldn't want to see this beautiful face every day?"

I rolled my eyes at him and became stoic "I might not be here any longer. I think I'm going to leave the mansion" I warned him

"I'll follow you wherever you go" He said seriously

"No Wade. You got a good thing here, don't throw it away"

"Do you really think I'd stay here and be a good little boy without you?" He snorted "You're the only thing keeping me here" His voice full of sincerity

I looked at him long and hard before I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered "If you can forgive me for all I did and accept me back into your life- then I will be yours forever"

In response he held me closer to him and kissed my neck "I already forgave you. But are you sure you want to be with an asshole like me?"

I let out a laugh "From the moment I first saw you, I knew that I could never be with another man but you"

I buried my head in his nape of his neck. We stayed in each others arms for a while before Wade spoke

"…..Anna?" He asked me

"Hmm?" I lifted my head up to look at him

He put his hand to my cheek and uttered the words that I have madly craved and dreamed about for as long as I knew him

"I love you"

**I was going to make this chapter longer and dive into why Anna's powers have been so uncontrollable but I felt that Wade and Anna's reconciliation should be honored with their own separate chapter. A big shout out to all my reviewers! I have the best readers in the world!  
**


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